Looking back to three years ago, when I was accepting my admission into this fine University, there was something missing that would have been quite helpful.
I didn't need a warning that finding housing for second year would start the minute you moved into dorms. Nor did I need an instruction manual on how to avoid making eye contact with people who table on the Lawn. I even didn't need a pamphlet on how to wage battle with ISIS. These are all things I learned how to deal with by myself upon arriving on Grounds.
But what I desperately needed was a disclaimer that would read something like this: "If you are from outside the state of Virginia and follow an NFL team that plays in the same conference as the Redskins, you may want to reconsider coming here. By NFL rule, Charlottesville's FOX channel rarely plays any games other than the Redskins', and there's nothing we can do about it. We apologize ahead of time for the inconvenience and wish you the best of luck in your decision."
I'm not saying this would have changed my mind, but it definitely would have prepared me a little more for the continual Sunday depression that the NFL strikes me with every week.
You see, I'm from North Carolina and am a huge Carolina Panthers fan. The Cats used to be pretty sorry in the pre-John Fox days. But they are a legitimate team now, and I rarely have the pleasure of watching them play. See, the NFL has these television agreements that divide the country up into territories and only show the games of the nearest team to the territory. In Charlottesville's case, that means watching a lot of Redskins games, as we are zoned for the Skins' games. And this is not just a problem for Panthers fans but also fans of any other team that happens to be in the Redskins' conference.
And yes, I know there are alternatives to relying on basic cable for football, but that isn't the point. My beef isn't with the University or Charlottesville or TV in general but mainly with my beloved and cursed NFL. It's the mistress I can't have: so engaging and captivating to watch, yet tantalizing and cruel in that it has some of the most ridiculous rules.
So let me get to my examples. Last Sunday, with the Redskins playing the Eagles on a nationally televised ESPN Sunday Night game, one would figure that FOX -- which carries the NFC games -- would show the best available NFC game in the 1 p.m. time slot. Last Sunday, that would have meant showing the Panthers-Bucs game, a game featuring two 5-2 teams battling for a share of first place in the tough NFC South (which, of course, the Panthers won). But because of the whacky No Fun League rules, FOX is not given permission to show any other NFC games. Therefore, dear old FOX was forced to show a heavily-edited version of "The Rock" (which I have seen before and features one of the most absurdly censored lines in all of cinema, where Sean Connery's famous line to Nicholas Cage becomes, "Your best? Losers whine about their best. Winners go home and date the prom queen." Yeesh -- let's just move on).
So maybe it's just that I'm not bright, but I don't understand why the NFL keeps such a tight control on which games are allowed to be televised in certain areas. Maybe the NFL wants to anger fans and force them to move to areas where they can watch their team play on TV. Maybe the NFL relies heavily on the revenue brought in from DirecTV's NFL Package and can't afford to show games on regular network television. Whatever the reason, it doesn't seem too sound and logical to me to, as a business, piss off your loyal customers.
I guess I'm just frustrated that another Sunday has passed when I was forced to dip out of meetings, run to the nearest computer, get on nfl.com and catch a brief update on the Panthers score. Maybe I'm just aggravated that my beloved University didn't even throw me a bone and can't help me out. (I mean, is it so much to ask for a DirecTV hook up in Clemons for us non-Redskins fans? Is that so much?)
And yes, maybe I'm just whining too much. I reckon things could be worse: I could succumb to the NFL's desires and actually be a Redskins fan.
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