This summer I lived in New York City for my second summer in a row. Unlike the first summer, where I interned at a magazine as an editorial intern, this summer I spent most of my time working on the business side. Unlike the first summer, when I knew a total of five people from school out of the eight million who live there, this summer I felt as though I knew eight million Wahoos and only five people were strangers. And, unlike my first summer in New York City -- single, underage and on what felt like vacation -- this summer I was in a relationship, 21 and woke up for work at 7:30am.
Nonetheless, in my experience, I have come to know many of the important traits of the NYC dating scene, which almost all of you want to know. I mean, let's face it, about 110 percent of the COMM school would die to be a cog in the financial machine, and people like me with social A.D.D. love the dynamic of a city that redefines cool every 20 seconds. Literally.
There's good news and bad news: Dating in New York City is the perfect obstacle for a U.Va. graduate -- it demands skills, perseverance, intensity and good looks. But in New York, it is often rare or unsafe to go to a bar, meet someone, get a number and score a date, primarily because, as my colleagues in New York tell me, you have no idea how crazy a guy (or his mom) is when the chances you had of meeting him were some probability I can't begin to compute.
Also, NYC's dating scene is more Internet-dependent than the alcohol-dependent scene of U.Va. In fact, New York's dating scene will help you sharpen your wit as you perfect your Internet profile. Yes, I said Internet profile. Believe it or not, there were many friend/dating sites before facebook.
Furthermore, dating (and everything else) in New York is expensive, and, as far as my experience shows me, many of the guys who are interesting and actually leave the office in time to take you on a date (or at all), make enough money to go on a walk for a six-dollar hot dog from a street vendor and $10 beer at a dive bar.
Then there is the whole reorientation from your typical end-of-the-night drop off etiquette to cabbies-yelling-at-you-to-hurry-up-and-say-goodbye etiquette. And, if you invite the person upstairs for a drink, you are more likely to encounter the unforgiving and inquisitive eyes of his/her roommates, an average of 12 per every three-bedroom, one-bath apartment.
But don't change your HoosTrack city preference quite yet, for New York City's dating scene has one thing that no other city can offer: an average of four million men and women to choose from, of all different backgrounds, belief systems and careers. If that number intimidates you, just remember that the rule of 150 applies here: Just like we made U.Va. smaller with clubs, frats and classes, you will be more likely to stick to your group of friends in your neighborhood or profession. So, most dates will be scored within that group of friends or friends of friends. And how can you and your potential loves help but be swept away in the romance of Central Park in the fall, musical theatre, countless restaurants, clubs and bars and endless Lindsay Lohan stalking?
Besides, New York is the city that never sleeps. So, no matter how bad your date might have been on a particular Friday, there is always time for Round 2 in New York City, versus Charlottesville's last call (i.e., last chance) at 2 a.m.
Many of us are looking forward to the next step, whether it's an internship at JP Morgan or a job at Condé Nast. And how could we not? Every door is open to us at this special time in life. Yet it serves us well to expect that no place we go will be the perfect fairy tale we've been dreaming up for 21 or 22 years, at least not on the dating scene. But who cares if you've got the chance to not only find Mr. or Mrs. Right but also spontaneously run into celebrities, eat famous cupcakes and complain about everything from love to jobs to politics (a.k.a. the New York way).
Just start saving your date money now, get an understanding roommate (or mates) and upload your picture to friendster.com. It's the facebook of your future.
Callan's column runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. She can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com.
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