Greetings from the year 2006. Today marks the morning when everyone wakes up and thinks, "What? It's not 1:30 in the afternoon, why is my alarm -- Oh God no ... break is over."
Yes, today symbolizes the end of half of a school year and the beginning of the part of 2006 when you do something other than channel surfing (or "Law & Order hunting," as it's referred to in the Cunningham household).
Smack in the middle of break was a little holiday known as New Year's. I myself spent New Year's Eve as I have every New Year's for the past six consecutive years: hiding in the basement waiting for the apocalypse.
Surrounding this switch from '05 to '06 was the annual tradition of copious Year-In-Review lists. I have chosen to steal this idea yet again, but have decided to make predictions on the upcoming year as well. Without further ado, I present "Attention Surplus Disorder's Second Annual Year In Preview"*:
*pronounced just as awkwardly as you'd imagine.
What was big in the year 2005: A Bodo's on the Corner.
What will be big in the year 2006: A Bodo's on every corner.
Big in 2005: Our team getting stomped by Virginia Tech.
Big in 2006: Our calves getting stomped by Virginia Tech.
Big in 2005: Drawn-out, suspenseful plot-driven shows like "Lost" and "Prison Break."
Big in 2006: Getting some answers, dammit!
Big in 2005: Me confusing the "Avian Flu" with chicken pox.
Big in 2006: Me confusing the "Avian Flu" with "Evian Flu" and refusing to drink bottled water.
Big in 2005: The movie "King Kong," starring a CGI-animated ape.
Big in 2006: The movie "Son of Kong," starring Robin Williams. The man is hairy.
Big in 2005: People realizing they've quoted "Zoolander" to death.
Big in 2006: People realizing they've quoted whatever-Will-Ferrell's-next-movie-is to death.
Big in 2005: VH1's Top 100 Most _____iest Celebrity ______s Countdown.
Big in 2006: Non-enumerated, college newspaper prediction lists.
Big in 2005: Wikipedia, the computerized encyclopedia for virtually all human knowledge.
Big in 2006: The search for John Carner.
Big in 2005: Gas prices spiking to ridiculous amounts.
Big in 2006: Aramark finally admitting its long-standing deals in the oil industry.
Big in 2005: Media frenzy that occurs when Paris Hilton's Sidekick is hacked, placing the personal information of thousands on the Internet.
Big in 2006: Media discovering facebook.
Big in 2005: Sudoku.
Big in 2006: Sudoku. It's here to stay.
Big in 2005: Podcasts.
Big in 2006: People listening to personal podcasts of complete strangers while walking to class, and avoiding eye contact of other complete strangers while walking to class.
Big in 2005: Sofka jokes.
Big in 2006: Explaining to first years who Sofka was.
Big in 2005: Pirates.
Big in 2006: Robots.
Big in 2005: Confirmation hearings of Supreme Court Nominee Sam Alito.
Big in 2006: Confirmation hearings of Supreme Court Nominee Sam Waterson.
Big in 2005: Getting excited about, then quickly bad-mouthing, the new O-Hill.
Big in 2006: Getting excited about, then quickly bad-mouthing, the John Paul Jones Arena.
Big in 2005: Laughing at Tom Cruise's escalatingly crazy antics.
Big in 2006: Fearfully chuckling at Tom Cruise's escalatingly crazy antics.
Big in 2005: Rumors of Kevin Federline's impending rap album release.
Big in 2006: Returning to basement bunker; waiting.
Eric's column is published each Wednesday. He can be reached at cunningham@cavalierdaily.com.
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