As the Cav Daily reported on Monday, the Semester at Sea program has recently met with skepticism from some faculty members concerned about the program's educational integrity. To reassure these protesters, I recommend changing the name of the cruise liner from the MV Explorer to the S.S. Scholar-Ship. Also, any student scoring in the bottom 10 percent on an exam should be made to spend an afternoon in the shark cage. That'll learn 'em.
This is the time of year when a lot of college students embark on another kind of voyage: finding a summer internship. This is exciting for many but a major hassle for those who are forced into the process by their parents. If for any reason you want to sabotage your own job interview, here are a few tried and true tips:*
-- Check your watch repeatedly and allude to more important interviews that you have lined up for later.
-- If asked whether you would be willing to take a drug screening test, say, "That depends. Would you be willing to lend me a cup of your urine?"
-- Blatantly interrupt your interviewer by answering your cell phone and acting out the following conversation: "Hello? ... This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a-- REALLY?! Which episode?? ... How many clues have they found so far? ... Oh, Blue. I freaking love that dog! ... Under the couch? I KNEW IT!!" Then look back at your interviewer and say, "Hey, I know I don't even work here yet, but can I take my lunch break now?"
*These tips are neither tried nor true.
FYI, my biggest fear is getting stuck in a narrow chimney, a.k.a. Santa Claustrophobia.
The student elections are really heating up. I know this because when I lie down to sleep at night, all I see in the darkness are horribly jumbled chalk messages like "Ben and Brian for 7:30 in Chem Auditorium" and "Vagina Monologues for Second Year Council Pres." Democracy is confusing.
I noticed a DHL deliveryman in shorts making his rounds in Cabell on Wednesday. Despite the fact that it was snowing, this dedicated worker was apparently still bound by the company's dress code, which seems to consider shorts to be appropriate winter wear. On the other hand, it's possible that this particular DHL employee was wearing shorts out of personal preference. In either case, I'm pulling for him all the way to win the coveted Damn Hot Legs award this year. But he should be more careful in the future; he was running dangerously close to an unsealed package violation.
I bet Louis XIV wishes he were alive today, if only so that he could do vodka ads bearing the slogan "Absolut Monarchy."
There's a lot of love around Grounds. Witness first of all the incessant high-fiving, fist-pounding and "inadvertent" butt-groping that takes place among groups of students daily. Be they exclusive cliques or haughty, self-important "societies," these groups are without exception founded upon the pillars of love and mutual respect.
And it's not just for girls anymore! In fact, boys are becoming increasingly expressive about their emotions, even when neither sports nor warfare is involved, according to an introductory sociology textbook that may or may not exist. Further, the limitations on physical displays of masculine closeness have been slackened in recent years. This owes a great deal to the newest revisions to the "Universal Affectionate Male Conduct Code," formerly known as the "Eww, Siiiick Code."
As one section of this guidebook denotes, it is now acceptable for guys to hug each other whenever they are: drunk; trying to hurt each other; reaching for cuts of meat that lie just out of reach in opposing directions (it happens); wearing tuxedos; in a mob, gang or cooking class; doing it to impress Oprah; doing it to gross out Rosie O'Donnell; or at a Jiffy Lube.
*HUGS*
Dan's column runs biweekly on Fridays. He can be reached at dooley@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 3 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | 5 days agoWhat the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
