Well, now that Singles Awareness Day has passed (or Valentine's Day, as it is known by couples everywhere) and we've all had time to reflect on our singledom, some people might be looking to change their status quos.
I've got a tidbit of information that demystifies the secret that I hear the guys here at the University complain about all the time: Where are all the girls?
There is one place at this University (albeit off-Grounds) where ladies flock on a regular basis. This place is frequented by girls of every age, personality, appearance, and affiliation. I'd bet 95 percent of women at the University have been to this place at least once. This place is Arch's. Yes, the ice cream (well, technically frozen yogurt) place on the Corner and on Ivy.
While this statement may seem obvious, guys do not understand the magnitude of this situation. All you, as an average, single male, have to do to get noticed at this one location is simply be there. It's not like going out on any given weekend night and spitting game to some girl with everyone awkwardly watching and feeling competitive with other guys in the bar. Your y-chromosome sets you apart at Arch's.
I'm not kidding -- I've done field research. It was long and painful having to people-watch at Arch's while eating fro-yo topped with M & M's, but I sacrificed myself for the cause. I'm here to help you.
There are several kinds of guys that go there on a regular basis. There's the guy who gets dragged there by his girlfriend, the guy who goes there with girls because he's "every girl's best friend" (who's also going back to Suzie's apartment to watch "Sex and the City" in a hot minute), and then there's the guy who goes there and orders a low-calorie blend of yogurts after his long workout at the gym and low-carb dinner.
Then there's you. You're just the average Joe who happened to stumble on good quality desserts. And ladies.
Gentlemen of the University, trying to find a girl isn't as hard as you think. Now you know where they are. While we ladies are not sitting around waiting on Mr. Right every single moment of our lives, we are open to the idea. By going to Arch's, you've just found the hidden Mecca of the University's women, and you could potentially be that Prince Charming.
You can't just walk into the place and attract the ladies like static cling (we're not that desperate). You do have to try if you're serious about this.
Go on, you say. Well, to get a girl's attention at Arch's in a positive way, you must exude manliness without breaking things or chugging beer. To be the kind of guy that can go to Arch's and walk out with a girl's phone number, you need to do the following things:
1. You must go with other guys. If you go with girls, you're categorizing yourself as the "nice guy who can be called when a girl just needs a shoulder to cry on, or some Arch's." If you go alone, you might come across as creepy. So, go with two of your guy friends after you've gone to Subway or something. Bring a drink with you to suggest that's all you have left from your delicious, foot-long meatball sub combo meal.
2. Your order is crucial. In general, most girls are going to be hesitant of a guy who orders the Wow Cow flavors which are only 10 calories an ounce over the regular Columbo flavors. I'd say go with vanilla or chocolate. And if you want a topping, I'd say go with chocolate syrup. Chocolate syrup is always sexy. Always.
3. The best hours of business for Arch's follow dinner. I'd say between 7:30 and 9:30 p.m. on any weeknight, you'll find a line of girls out the door.
Once you're inside, surrounded by about 30 women and no other men, it's up to you. Begin a conversation with the girls ahead of you ... whatever, just do your thing. Think of Arch's as a bar minus the alcohol. You don't need a social lubricant to politely get a girl's number.
Now I'm not trying to reverse the women's liberation movement, and I'm not advocating preying on innocent women, but I am trying to give the fellows at the University an easy tip to getting a date. Go to Arch's, be a gentleman, and find yourself a girl. It's where we hang out.
Lindsay's column runs biweekly on Thursdays. She can be reached at mccook@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 2 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | 4 days agoWhat the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
