I'm going to tell you guys something you should know by now but probably don't pay attention to. When women say they don't want anything for their birthday, Valentine's, Christmas or your anniversary, chances are she is trying to act, or even legitimately be, the cool, laid-back girl she thinks you'd appreciate. In reality, she will probably feel terrible if you actually take her seriously. Women, whether it's good or bad, tend to say what they mean only some of the time, and the majority of those situations do not apply to the people they date. Sorry.
Luckily, you have me. Therefore, today, as it is Valentine's Day, I'll give you some quick tips that will save an awkward night of her implicit anger towards you. Here are some suggestions for gifts that won't cost you a ton of money and can satisfy the "I didn't want anything but really did" situation while still being small enough that she doesn't feel terrible for not giving you anything. Of course, all these ideas work for friends wanting to spread the love to their platonic counterparts, too.
A framed picture of the two of you:
There's a great chance you have a picture of the two of you lying around or something on your digital camera that you can quickly print and frame with a frame from anywhere in Barracks or even the Bookstore. If you want to keep it funny and informal, get a candid picture or one where you are being goofy, get a clear, box frame from Michaels and call it a day.
Flowers ... but NOT from a florist:
... And no vase. Part of this whole give-the-gift-you-weren't-supposed-to strategy is a casual approach. Also, if you are looking to save money, hit a grocery store. Their flowers are the same quality of florists (most of the time) and you can get a dozen for under $20. Have the attendant wrap them in cellophane and paper and head off to your Lovely's house with a simple yet surprisingly sweet present.
iTunes music:
Because iTunes is amazing in so many ways, you can buy music gift certificates for others in the virtual Music Store. The certificate is then credited to the other's account so that anytime they purchase music online, it's deducted automatically. Plus, if the music is free, she won't experience as much buyer's remorse when downloading sappy songs by such prodigies as Whitney Houston or the Backstreet Boys.
Speaking of music...
Make a CD. I know, it's the middle school equivalent to making a mix-tape, but it worked then and it will work now. Of course, some of us are hyper-sensitive to the cheesy factors of gifts, so if you're worried that a mix CD is too 1996, give her some music she doesn't own but has always seemed to like. Your favorite indie band, Beatles album or live concert is meaningful without exuding stupid.
But if cheese is your main food group...
A long letter about why she means so much to you or simply how you have really enjoyed getting to know her is a great way to give her much more than she could have ever expected. Plus, there are few holidays which elicit this kind of mushiness and give you an excuse for it while also fulfilling the inherent desire in your significant other to feel loved and sought after, no matter how long you have been together.
Whatever you are doing today for Valentine's, today is another day to take advantage of a completely economic holiday for the benefit of your relationship. In all honesty, we need all the help we can get when dealing with love, and if a simple gift will not only smooth over a potential conflict but also impress your girlfriend, why not?
Take it from me: as intimidating as my gender seems, we're really simple to please. Especially since four years of college can make you appreciate the smallest of gestures from the opposite sex ... even those gestures which most of us thought were expected. But that, my friends, is a different column for a different time. Happy Valentine's Day.
Callan's column runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. She can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com.
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