Cable star Mark Summers captured my eight-year-old heart during my after school snack time. The pie slide, the wall of unknowns, the pie pod -- what else could an elementary school student ask for?
"Double Dare" and the family obstacle course took up the next half-hour of joy. Looking back, I'm glad no one's father had a heart attack while the crowd cheered them through the tunnels, slime and monkey bars.
Nickelodeon ruled my formative years, and I'm willing to say that I might be a better person for it. True, not all of my faithful readers had cable at such a young age (I hope you enjoyed PBS more than I did), but, for those who remember the "Roundhouse" dancers from the SNICK premiere, I'm sure you share my nostalgia.
Nickelodeon shows fell under certain categories: the contests, the Nicktoons and the sitcom.
We'll start with the latter, the sitcom. Of these, my favorite was "Clarissa Explains It All." It may have been the similarity in name. It may have been the familiar guitar riff played every time her best-friend Sam's ladder hit her window. It may have been that I wished my little brother Joe could dream up ingenious plots to foil my happiness. But alas, Joe was only four at the time and did not have the passion that Clarissa's brother Ferguson got from his fire-engine red hair. I did try to style my fashion after Clarissa for a while. Then one day, years later, I realized I looked ridiculous. This may or may not have been senior year in high school.
"Clarissa" was not the only show that captured my undivided attention. "Pete and Pete" made me wish for a metal plate in my own mother's head and a super-hero friend who was "the strongest man, in the world!" It also gave me a craving for Orange Juliuses no matter how bad the brain freeze could be. "Salute Your Shorts" made me glad I never attended any sort of summer camp, even though I was captivated by Donkulus' adventures: The awful waffle, Ug, and the raising of the underwear on the flagpole -- how scarring! My mother did not allow me to watch "Hey Dude." Apparently, I had not matured enough for the cowpokes and mature storylines of the Wild West.
Then Nicktoons appeared. These came and went, like leaves in the fall. One of the more long-lasting shows detailed the wild exploits of the "Rugrats." What a tool Chuckie was, letting Angelica shove him about. I was a big fan of "Rocko's Modern Life." What was he anyway? A wallaby? I'm not sure we were even supposed to know. "AH! Real Monsters" occasionally had its moments; those clever writers turning the monster-under-the-bed theory into ironic plot lines.
Sadly, "Ren and Stimpy" was yet another show I was banned from. My younger cousin used to tease me about my restriction and sing the "log song" to me. How upset it made me!
In the remaining category we have the contest shows; what one might call the advent of reality television. "Legends of the Hidden Temple" scared the bejeebers out of me. Who were those temple guards that carried off poor, unsuspecting preteens? Were the contestants' bodies ever found? "Guts!" employed the use of a British referee in order to sound more official. The final challenge of the show -- that giant mountain the contestants had to summit -- very closely resembles episodes of the "Most Extreme Challenge." Maybe the Chinese were taking notes.
I've saved the most memorable show for last. And by memorable I mean pee-your-pants scary. "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Of course we were! No one who watched that show had graduated the sixth grade! We were already terrified by any creak in the night. Episodes of that show haunt me to this day -- particularly the deadly ghoul who could appear wherever there was water. I still have to throw shower curtains back with gusto when I enter a bathroom to make sure I have the advantage of surprise, not he.
So we experienced victory, defeat, amazement, humor and fear thanks to these proto-mature television shows. The early 90s, our prime Nickelodeon years, have been referred to as the golden years of the station. It's almost as if we lived with the ancient Greeks during the time of Socrates! Today, the station has lost its original pizzazz and moved on to cookie-cutter and unimpressive shows. SpongeBob doesn't count, of course.
In times like these, I yearn for just one final episode of "All That."
Clare's column usually runs biweekly on Mondays. She can be reached at ondrey@cavalierdaily.com.
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