Spring Break, Woo!
... is what one would proclaim if they had a vacation comprised of anything other than sitting at home watching FX.
There is one thing I did learn over break, though: how entrancing as dumb a show as "Deal or No Deal" can be. If you haven't had the privilege to see this wonder, it's basically "Millionaire"* without any questions -- just guessing which of 26 briefcases has a million dollars in it. No skill, no intelligence necessary. I'm ashamed to love this show so much. It's like the NBC version of "Flavor of Love." You know it's bad for you, yet you cannot turn away.
*I know, I'm disappointed in the fact I feel familiar enough with the show to call it just "Millionaire," too.
Over break, the United States' team in the World Baseball Classic ended up losing to Canada in the sport we all recognize as "America's Pastime." Wholly unacceptable. I mean, that's like Tom Cruise losing the "Be Crazy Competition." Or to bring it local, a University student losing "The Frayed-Hair-Peeking-Out-From-Underneath-A-Curve-Brimmed-Cap Olympics."
The other day I decided to start a personal vegetable garden to hopefully see the fruits of my labor (pun?) later in the spring. This plan came to a head when I realized the only plan I could conceive for raising carrots, lettuce or other seedless vegetables was to simply bury the vegetable whole and hope for the best. I hope my broccoli-shaped dirt mounds yield something come April.
Between VH1's "I Love the 70s," "80s" and "90s," "Best Week Ever" and the latest venture, "I Love Toys," I feel VH1 needs to bring its proto-genre to completion and put pop culture-obsessed viewers like myself out of their misery. Go ahead and release "I Love Brangelina," "I Love K-Fed" and finally, the anthology of the series, "I Love B-List Celebrities commenting on A-List Celebrities."
While meandering through the supermarket the other day, I came across a peculiar product in the Jams & Jellies aisle (my presence there brought the median age of said aisle down by nearly two decades). The product is a weird, prepackaged, crustless, sealed peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Imagine a calzone, if it were invented by kindergartners. Frankly, Smucker's, I don't think I'm ready for this jelly.
I cannot walk past Halsey Hall without coming to terms with the fact that it is the Doug E. Doug of academic buildings. Always there, not really a big star, but like "Operation: Dumbo Drop," severely underrated.
With a hit song that starts off with "Backstreet's back ... alright!" I feel this is a clear cut case of the Backstreet Boys already anticipating their downfall and eventual resurgence. Well, at least they were half right
Howie, please don't be mad at that. You're the nice one.
NBC's new hit show, "Conviction" -- wow. Dick Wolf, I tip my hat to you. You've done it again. You're what Ben & Jerry's is to the ice cream industry, but for the television legal genre. Just when we think you've stretched its creative juices to the breaking point, BAM: Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Pecan."
Dear Dell Computers,
F1 is for help, F5 is refresh and ever since second grade I've known F7 is for spell check. F8 through 12, though, are shrouded in mystery. For keyboard efficiency, please eliminate these buttons. I find the cognitive dissonance of having functionless function buttons distracting.
Sincerely,
Eric Cunningham
PS. Hey, bring back that Ashton Kutcher-esque "You're gettin' a Dell!" guy. He is missed.
Eric's column runs each Wednesday. He can be reached at cunningham@cavalierdaily.com.
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