There are a few things in life that you either love or hate: hot dogs, tomatoes and, also, history. For those who love it, great. But for those who aren't aficionados, it's hard to make history REALLY interesting. Fortunately, there are things in life that are universally loved: puppies, small, non-crying children, roses and, most of all, haikus.
This simple yet badass form of poetry can always win over a tough crowd. Thus, to satisfy whatever reader happens to chance upon this column, I present a poorly rhymed but informative history of the Rotunda ... in haiku.
Jefferson was old
Accomplished a lot of stuff
But he wasn't done.
He built U.Va.
First chartered "Central College"
His idea of fun.
He got some buddies
With Madison and Monroe
Laid the cornerstone.
Started at seven
Not Pavilion I or II
The state would condone.
He made it random
So the inspectors wouldn't
Realize the expense.
For his finale
The Rotunda was built last
It made lots of sense.
Obsessed with lighting
Jefferson made it all round
No shadows found here.
Then Mills came around
It was 1853
Annex made us cheer.
Sadly it burned down
What a horrible idea
Electrical fire.
Bucket brigade made
Maybe too optimistic
Them, I wouldn't hire.
Meanwhile they threw books
Lewis and Clark artifacts
Out through the window.
Wasn't a big deal
Until Jefferson statue
Got out of control.
Stuck in a fireplace
Couldn't pull him out because
He weighed three whole tons.
Meanwhile a teacher
Decided to fight the fire
Using TNT.
Not a smart idea
Reddy Echols, you're crazy.
Now, scholars they be.
Then it was rebuilt
Stanford White was a huge freak
Killed by girlfriend's man.
Fancy Rotunda
With two floors instead of three
Not Jefferson's plan.
Added Cabell, Cocke
And Rouss to close off the Lawn
Real arrogant dude.
Kept those three buildings
But the Rotunda was bad
To TJ, it's rude.
Rebuilt it again,
This time in '76
That's what we have now.
Other cool stories
Like for April Fool's one year
On top, placed a cow.
It died, unfortunately, from being over sedated when animal control tried to bring it back down. But there you have it. The Rotunda: built in 1817, with an annex that was home to the first electrical engineering college added in 1853, which led to its burning down in 1895, rebuilt by Stanford White (who had a torrid love affair that led to his death) in 1898, and finally restored in its original design in 1976.
But it was a lot more fun in haiku, wasn't it?
Maryann's column runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. She can be reached at maryann@cavalierdaily.com.
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