Premature ejaculation. Men fear it. Women loathe it. And no conclusive studies have been conducted to measure how many men suffer from it.
Regularly ejaculating before either you or your partner desires is symptomatic of a problem known as premature ejaculation. Approximately one in five men of ages 18 to 59 suffer from this condition, according to the Mayo Clinic.
The idea of climaxing too soon is purely relative to you and your partner's expectation as to how long intercourse should last. However, too often many women note feelings of dissatisfaction because their partners have ejaculated minutes before they were on their way to deep stimulation. According to 4-Men's Health, a Web site on male health and sexual performance, it takes the average woman five minutes longer to climax than it does for her partner -- if shereaches her sexual climax at all. And although lengthy intercourse doesn't necessarily correlate to a pleasurable night, many women -- like hip-hop artist Missy Elliott -- cannot stand a "one-minute man." Period.
Fourth-year College student "Laura" noted that sex, even if it is prolonged, can be dreadful if there is not much chemistry to begin with. However, she claims that performing for only a few minutes can be meaningful if it is offset by passionate, high-quality lovemaking. Yet when her partner ejaculated too quickly once during sex, she said she soon went into a state of astonishment.
"I really didn't understand what had happened," she said. "He was really embarrassed and really angry. It's an unfortunate situation but there's not much a girl can do."
Third-year College student "Tony" didn't react as harshly when he ejaculated prematurely.
"There were three strokes and it was a wrap," he said. "I was really horny and it had to go. She was kind of pissed at first but then it was whatever because it wasn't something that happened always."
An often failed realization by men is that lovemaking is a two-way street in which a woman's pleasure should be as high an importance as a man's. However, according to the Mayo Clinic, due to psychological issues, impotence, stress, medication, anxiety and an array of other factors, premature ejaculation can be inadvertent, occurring without notice or gradual climax.
Fourth-year College student "Molly" said she had been with her partner for about six months until he had his first of many encounters with premature ejaculation.
"It was just a moment of pure tension," she said. "I had been giving him head but it hadn't lasted long. We just laid there not talking about it until he just left."
During another occasion, Molly said she and her partner were engaging in sexual intercourse when it happened again.
"We had been having sex until he said, 'I'm done,'" she said. "I said, 'Are you kidding me?'"
Not surprisingly, many of the men interviewed said the issue is probably one of the most taboo topics to mention among males and can be a major blow to the male ego.
"I feel like you should be able to discuss it with your close friends but I wouldn't discuss it with anybody because there's the stigma that you can't" perform, Tony said.
According to the Mayo Clinic, doctors mainly categorize premature ejaculation as either "primary" or "secondary." Primary premature ejaculation occurs if you have experienced the problem for as long as you have been sexually active. Secondary premature ejaculation occurs if you developed the condition after having had previous, satisfying, sexual relationship without ejaculatory problems.
With regard to prevention, there are various ways to help delay ejaculation and to increase one's sexual stamina, including everything from topical creams and sprays that desensitize the penis, to psychotherapeutic methods that claim to curb premature ejaculation. There are two commonly known methods that are proven to increase sexual performance: the "squeeze technique" and the "start-stop" method.
The bottom line is that occasional premature ejaculation is a common occurrence among sexually active males. If the problem becomes routine, however, the Mayo Clinic suggests seeking medical attention.
"Think of lovemaking as your most favorite meal, with climaxing being the dessert," Laura said. "The goal is not to devour your entire meal just to partake in the strawberry cheesecake."
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