I'm not going to keep y'all in sus-pense, let's just say this: spandex. I know we're at that awkward time between midterms and exams, where people don't really want to wear clothes anyways, but I'm still traumatized by this experience so I thought I'd share. (My shrink always says better out than in.) Anyways, a few weeks ago while studying for a midterm at Clemons, I saw a most unusual thing. And by unusual, I mean terribly, terribly tragic. A girl in spandex.
And this wasn't just any spandex, but orange spandex/leggings with moccasins and an over-sized, over-patterned sweater. Now I like my moccasin slippers (and boots) as much as the next girl, and I'm all for dressing for comfort, but the spandex is just one step too far. Granted, in some circumstances spandex is totally fine. For example, you're going running and it's a bitter October day in Virginia. What do you do? Throw on some black running tights. This is a perfectly legitimate use of spandex.
Here's scenario two: You have a midterm, and you're scared of venturing into the stacks of Alderman (come on, you know they'll never, ever find your decaying body until they hear the rats chewing) so you go to Clemons. It's not like you expect to get any work done, but nevertheless you want to feel comfortable. So you throw on orange leggings? Who are you? Who does that? Maybe this was OK circa 1992 if you want to suddenly break into a rousing rendition of "I'm so excited" after hours of caffeine-induced studying, but even then, I'm not so sure.
This is 2006 and you're at Club Clemons. So why are you wearing leggings? Especially with VPL (visible panty lines) and a sweater that you threw up on last weekend at Phi Psi and forgot to wash.
Other than the simple ugly factor, has this girl considered how distracting this might be for other students? Personally speaking, seeing such a disastrous attempt at apparel paraded before my eyes back and forth on the second floor hardly helped me to concentrate. In fact, I would say it downright hindered my Econ. studying, because it's hard to study while laughing/crying for mankind. Please just throw on some jeans. Or at least a nice pair of Juicy sweatpants. After all, if you're at Club Clemons, you should look your best to find yourself a husband.
Therefore no spandex. "So what?" you ask, "it's supposedly spring anyways!" True, true, so time to throw on the denim mini and Rainbows? Or maybe rolled up Sevens and a tank? Trés boring, I say.
Here are a few new items to throw in your wardrobe, to try to mix things up as we all try to trek through the last month of school:
Vests: They're actually kind of cute. Grab a white or denim one to wear over a tank. Seriously, you don't have to be Mischa Barton to pull it off as long as you keep the rest of your look simple. You can even add the next item to your ensemble -- just don't wear it with Keds and skinny jeans -- that's way too hardcore.
Dangly Necklaces: I know these have been trendy for a while now, but I still think they're fun. Instead of the standard black kukui nut necklaces or brown wooden beads, wear a colorful one to spice up any outfit. If you get sick of homework you can even buy some beads at Michael's or the bead store at the Downtown Mall and make one yourself -- the more random the better.
Bright Sunglasses: Hot pink, white, yellow, there are so many colors to choose from! Aviators and bug-eyes are still in style, but these are fun, and Isaac Mizrahi at Target has some really cute ones. Plus all the cool kids are wearing them.
Sweet Belts: I'm talking about obi belts, sashes, what have you. Just something cool and different that you can wear high up to create an empire waist on a dress, or to give an Asian feel to a blousy top. Hell, I've even seen someone wear one of these over an oxford shirt. There are tons out right now -- buckled ones, metallic and more, and they're a welcome change to ribbon belts if you ask me. Plus you can put it over an old going out top to pretend like it's new!
Wear what you want. But for TJ's sake, don't wear orange spandex during exams. Nobody should have to suffer through that.
Alex's column runs biweekly on Fridays. She can be reached at jospin@cavalierdaily.com.
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