"It doesn't matter how many times my friends tell me I'm skinny, I think I look fat," second-year College student "Julia," who suffers from non-purging bulimia, said.
"Julia" is not alone. Twenty percent of college females nationwide suffer from eating disorders, according to third-year College student Katie St. Germain, an officer for Hoos Open to Preventing Eating Disorders.
To bring light to the issue, this week has been declared "Celebrate Every Body Week." Students, faculty and staff are working together through HOPE, U.Va. CARES and Counseling and Psychological Services to cosponsor this week's various events.
On Monday, the groups had "a day without mirrors" by partially covering mirrors in residence halls with white paper. The "Mind/Body Dialogues" production occurred Wednesday, and Thursday, Prof. Glenn Gaesser and CAPS psychologist Matt Zimmerman gave a speech concerning the psychology behind eating disorders. Finally, on Friday the groups painted Beta Bridge black and will ask people who pass how many people they know with an eating disorder. For every person, they will paint one blue ribbon.
The entire week, HOPE has been tabling on the Lawn for "the great jeans giveaway." According to St. Germain, anyone can donate their "skinny jeans" to local shelters and receive a free t-shirt and close-pin magnet in exchange.
"I feel that awareness about eating disorders is a very big issue, and I think that while most of our society is aware of what an eating disorder is, there are a lot of misconceptions that they have about it that this week helps bring to life," "Julia" said.
"Julia" has been a non-purging bulimic since the sixth grade and said she knows first-hand what it is like to live with an eating disorder. She said bulimia with non-purging means she will go on binges where she eats massive amounts of food at one time, and rather than purging later, she will just restrict her food intake. Many people without eating disorders do not understand how hard it is for those who are suffering, "Julia" said.
"They just say, 'Oh, why don't you just eat?' and they don't get how hard it truly is to do that," she said.
Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia (purging and non-purging) are triggered by many different factors and are not necessarily related a desire to be extremely skinny.
According to Emily Lape, a therapist at CAPS and an eating disorder specialist, eating disorders can result from a need for control.
"I find that when I'm losing control, when I don't know how I did on that test, that's really going to determine things," "Julia" said. "I'll find that I'll try to restrict myself as much as possible, which will wind up with me losing control and going on a binge."
She said sometimes the disorder masks self-esteem problems, but it can also be triggered by physical injuries or other illnesses, such as mono.
Lape said people with mono and other illnesses often lose their appetite and they lose weight after having been inactive for a long period of time.
"When they get back to school people say they look great," Lape said. "Their appetite returns, but they feel like they have to starve themselves" to continue to impress their peers.
Additionally, eating disorders can be triggered by first instances of failure or rejection, such as a difficult breakup or a rough transition into college. Lape said this is especially difficult for people at competitive schools like the University because many people were "the prom queen and a cheerleader and a student-athlete and at the top of their class," but when they come here, "their sense of self comes crashing down."
Before coming to the University, "Julia" sought professional help, and since then, she has been to counseling sessions with CAPS. She said the University limits each person to eight counseling sessions with CAPS, and after that students have to go off Grounds for help.
While her binges have declined since receiving help, "Julia" said she is still living with the disorder.
"It's kind of like alcoholism," she said. "You're never recovered, you're always recovering."
"Julia" said she is willing to talk about her eating disorder because she wants to promote a healthy body and to let other people suffering know that help is available. She said eating disorders are often linked with other mental disorders, like depression, and eating disorders themselves are the number one cause of death among mental disorders.
"The scariest part is that sometimes I don't realize that I haven't eaten for two weeks," said. "What's normal to you is to eat normally at least two to three meals a day. What's normal to me is to not eat food."
She said when she hits a "low-point" she will even plan to not eat for the next few days.
People suffering from eating disorders are not always easy to spot, especially if they suffer from bulimia. St. Germain said 70 percent of people with bulimia are of normal weight, while 15 percent are underweight and 15 percent are overweight.
Similarly, people suffering from eating disorders may seem like they have it all together.
"They're really successful and driven, high-achieving," Lape said. "They are people pleasing and perfectionists and obsessive with extremes of all or nothing thinking and not a lot of grey in between."
Some students said they would not know what to do or how to approach a friend if they had an eating disorder.
"I think I'd be lost in that situation," first-year Engineering student Jeff Jaeckle said.
Celebrate Every Body Week is meant to help anyone currently suffering as well as anyone like Jaeckle, who does not feel prepared to handle such a situation, St. Germain said.
She said people who suspect a friend of having an eating disorder should not attempt to take control of the situation, nor should they make attacks, guilt trips or pleas. Instead, they should show their friend that they care for them, using "I" statements about specific behaviors such as "I see you losing interest in your extracurriculars and focusing a lot on food and over-exercising," St. Germain said.
The events scheduled for this week support various positive body images while informing the public about eating disorders.
"My goal is that people would see how prevalent eating disorders are," St. Germain said. "We just want to [inform] women and men who are struggling that they're not alone and that they can definitely come forward to get help. It's an incredibly scary thing to do and they're incredibly bold to do it."
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