For almost three years now, the youth of the nation has been fixated on the melodramatic, mildly lame interactions of rich, private school kids and their sketchy parents on "The OC." This season, however, "The OC" has crashed, causing a toxic aftermath of teen angst, melodramatic confrontations, vapid humor and Range Rovers. I may or may not have watched every Thursday for the past two years, but my allegiance is fading fast. I find the characters and the plot have become so ridiculous that I am tempted to read from a Norton Anthology of English Literature or flip the channel to VH1's "Flavor of Love" rather than submit myself to an hour of unintelligent, predictable banter of the emotionless, yet aesthetically pleasing, high schoolers.
The familial bonds of the seemingly perfect Cohens are fraying, and the other characters are being sucked into their black hole of corruption. Sandy has gone from righteous do-gooder to shady real-estate businessman/absent father whose bushy black eyebrows are perpetually furrowed with contemplation of business ethics.
If he went back to the D.A.'s office and adopted more troubled and good-looking youths the problem would be solved. Seth Cohen is no longer the lovable geek heartthrob and has adopted an identity that can only be described as lame. His character also appears to serve as a bad anti-drug campaign after he skipped his college interview in favor of some illicit marijuana use. But to me, Seth's capital crime is deciding it would be a better idea to lie to his parents and his beloved Summer about being accepted into Brown, which, first off, I don't understand the mechanics of.
Wouldn't his parents want to see an acceptance letter? Wouldn't Summer want to know where he was planning on attending instead? And why does everyone want to go to Brown?
Kirsten has held off on the sauce this season and is back to being a stereotypical hot mom, e.g. the boring one who offsets the out-of-control lives of the other characters with her complacency. I still think she and the dangerously alluring magazine editor should have run off and bought their own vineyard.
Ryan is still sullen, yet representing the University well as a famous and sexy alumnus. Speaking of which, I'm a little disappointed in Ben Mckenzie for not pulling some strings to have Ryan apply here. Judging from the tour groups I've seen around lately, he would have been the hottest guy in the Class of 2010. But sadly, both Ryan and Marissa have donned Berkeley sweatshirts despite their extensive criminal records, which makes you wonder about the kind of people UC-Berkeley accepts.
For me, the low point of the show came earlier this season with the death of Johnny, a public school-attending surfer dude with a heart of gold. His only crime that I could see was loving Marissa more than Ryan and confessing his love to her, but I suppose he had to be knocked off for Marissa and Ryan to stay together for a few more episodes before they broke up for the ninth time.
Johnny fell to his doom on the sandy beach of Newport seconds after dramatically yelling drunken incoherencies at the other characters who watched fearfully from below. For his funeral, the show tactfully chose a "beach party theme" and multiple surfboards stood around the mourners like monuments to the ridiculousness of the whole affair. This was the last we, the audience, heard of the poor guy; the other characters forgot about him because Valentine's Day was coming up. I think Marissa should have been the one to go, perhaps in a fatal trailer park accident.
For those who are devoted O.C. fans, I apologize if my scathing review of this season has offended you in any way. Yet I hope you secretly agree with me, a former enthusiast of the show, on the fact that we, the audience, are being cheated and written down to by Fox. And though I predict certain doom for "The OC," I may be wrong. After all, they're headed to college and we know too well what sort of scandals that transition can bring.
As for me, I have moved on to "Grey's Anatomy" on ABC. The dialogue is wittier and there's a doctor called McDreamy. Good luck on exams and have a great summer everyone!
Mary's column runs bi-weekly on Wednesdays. She can be reached at mbaroch@cavalierdaily.com.
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