In my years here at U.Va. I have developed quite a few ideas for improvements that could made around Grounds. Perhaps some young, impressionable first year will feel compelled to carry out some of these thoughts as a tribute to my legacy. (I'm willing to bet no, but one can hope):
I have often looked at the COD and sighed when I realized that "Naptime" had not been listed as a course. While to professors this may seem ridiculous, I have taken several other classes (which shall remain nameless) that might as well have been called "Sleeping Sitting Straight Up" or "Studies in Soporific Voices." I want to see IMP 101: "Napping as a Form of Collegiate Expression" come to fruition.
Professors give far too little extra credit and far too much actual work. Remember the good ole days in high school when you could bring in cupcakes for the entire class for three extra points on your nine-weeks test? I do. I think if a student is willing to bake cupcakes for a lecture of 150 people, then by golly, the professor should honor that ambition and award said student with an A for the semester. More of this, less theses.
While I have never in my existence minded taking a multiple-choice test, I feel that scantrons could be more fun. I hear that teachers will sometimes make patterns with the answers, but I have yet to experience this. I propose that scantrons be used as a kind of game for the student. You fill out all the bubbles as you see fit, and the last question on the exam is to connect all the dots and make a pretty picture. I would make Spongebob images, but that's just me.
I truly feel that the libraries need to not only rent out laptops, but parkas and fans as well. Because the internal temperature of the buildings consistently measures at the opposite extreme of the external temperature, one always needs either a parka to combat hypothermia or a fan to struggle against heat exhaustion. I would also suggest pillows as available for rental. I have found that my textbooks make poor excuses for feather down, and if I'm going to sleep, I at least want to be comfortable.
Somebody should find a way to make Toolkit transmit to iPods. I would be far more willing to do my readings if they were portable and it didn't mean either a) spending $117 on printing them out or b) if I didn't have to lug around my laptop whenever I wanted to do them. Toolkit as a podcast. Ingenious.
I have long wanted to test the IQs of the squirrels around Grounds. I am confident not only are they smarter than squirrels around the world, but that they have far more attitude than other squirrels. A massive biology study could be done and the University could serve as a testing ground to see if squirrels adapt to the knowledge base of their surroundings. I don't know how this would positively impact society at large, but I'm sure it would bring publicity to U.Va., and don't we love that?
As you may have noticed, the older you get in your schooling here at the University, the more difficult it becomes to wake up in the morning. The University should give each incoming student at orientation an alarm clock that wakes you up with not only fresh-brewed coffee, but a Red Bull, three Ibuprofens and a smile. No one would ever miss class again due to oversleeping or hangovers.
I personally feel that each student should get a medal for streaking the Lawn. At graduation, an award could given to the student who has streaked the Lawn the most number of times, the student who has done it in the most inclement weather and the students who have successfully streaked the Lawn three-leggedly. An official should be posted at the Rotunda at all times to keep record of this.
Lastly, my greatest idea (attributed to my roommate) is that instead of Pepsi products coming out of the vending machines, beer should be dispensed. Why, you ask? Why not? Group projects would be more animated, discussions would be better facilitated, and Alderman Café's sales would skyrocket.
So take these last tidbits of my strange wisdom and use them as you well, but please, should you ever find a squirrel sitting next to you in class or put in a dollar for a Bud Light at Clark, remember me.
Catch you on the flipside.
Lindsay's column ran bi-weekly on Thursdays. She can be reached at mccook@cavalierdaily.com.
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