So, it's the beginning of spring, and soon spring will turn into summer. Spring and summer mean one thing (other than heavy daytime drinking): outdoor concerts. Actually, the two events coincide, really. Starr Hill always has great shows, the Pavilion downtown will start their spring lineup soon, and I'm sure wherever you live this summer will have its fair share of venues.
I, myself, am headed to a few shows this summer and as I've been buying tickets, I've been doing a little reflecting on the whole concert deal.
Little did you know (or maybe you did), there's a certain concert etiquette to be followed. Following these rules is as crucial as being at the concert in general, considering your actions will make or break your concert experience. Maybe you can just cut this out and put it in your pocket in case you get confused.
DO bring your lighter. You know this is a necessity. Though I did have the absurd opportunity of seeing cell phones used in absence of lighters at a smoke-free show once.
DO NOT sing the words "la la me watermelon cantaloupe do re me" in place of the actual lyrics. People will injure you if they hear you doing this. Just sway and smile. There's nothing worse than a person who doesn't know the words.
DO bring a flask filled with liquor. No, wait. I didn't say that.
DO NOT bring a flask -- that is illegal and we don't do illegal things.
DO party with the old people that are certainly going to be tailgating in the parking lot of the show. Who are they and why the hell are they seeing John Mayer? This is vital information which will no doubt enhance your concert experience.
DO NOT drop acid with the old geezers. Sketchy, wrinkly men giving out tabs is a bad scene. Run away. This is an especially prominent drug if you will be seeing the Eagles, the Allman Brothers, or any Pink Floyd cover bands this concert season.
DO get your groove on during the concert.
DO NOT flail your arms and hit your neighbors, gyrate in a disgusting manner or pretend to pluck butterflies from the air in some hippie dance move.
DO cheer. And loudly. Especially for an encore.
DO NOT scream the entire concert. You will be the most obnoxious person there. This was only acceptable at *NSync and Backstreet Boys concerts. Not even 98 Degrees would have merited all-concert noise.
DO be sure to give hugs all around when your favorite song comes on. It's awkward fun.
DO NOT repeat said action for every song and repeatedly announce, "THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!" I've seen you at concerts, and I hate you.
DO bring binoculars if you're up in the upper deck of the concert venue. Watch and laugh as the people in the front row try to drunkenly climb over the security fence and get denied by 300-pound bouncers.
DO NOT paw your significant other every three seconds and yell about how much you love said person and whatever band. We know, honey, we love that band, too. That's why we're there. We do not, however, love your boyfriend -- Or you.
DO live it up rockstar-style or emo-style (if that's what you're into) at your show. Wear your sunglasses at night. Go crazy!
DO NOT wear the shirt of the band you are about to see.Don't be that guy.
DO buy some memorabilia. One T-shirt is sufficient.
DO NOT buy all the memorabilia. Later, when you're sober, you will regret spending that $200 on keychains, baby doll tees, and plastic cups.
If you're not going to the show, DO sit come to the tailgate in the parking lot and hang out with the people who forget they even have a show to go to. Likelihood that they're more entertaining than the show: high.
DO NOT try to sneak in. It's a bad scene all over town when you get caught. This is why some of my friends are not allowed back to Nissan Pavilion ever in their lifetimes. Sad.
DO have a blast, my friends. Enjoy every minute of the upcoming summer concerts. Savor the music, love the band, have a damn good time.
DO NOT pass these opportunities by. For one, you are only in college once. Two, most shows aren't that expensive. Three, it is a necessary part of growing up to get ridiculous at concerts and tell your kids about it 20 years down the road.
Lindsay's column runs bi-weekly on Thursdays. She can be reached at mccook@cavalierdaily.com.
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