In the fall of 2003, at the beginning of my second year, I found myself jabbing away at my computer, venting my deepest frustrations with the male sex, dating in college and how someone as cute as me could wind up dumped and (what felt like) eternally single. Little did I know that my rant would become a "relationship column" for The Cavalier Daily, a temporary source of alienation from the male population and a cathartic exercise.
Three years later, I jab for the last time.
I also write in a bit of shock. How did I get here? I'm 22 and still feel 12; about to be a grown up; afraid that in the past four years I haven't taken advantage of all the people I could have known and all the things I could have learned.
So, it's my hope to use my sign off as a spring board for you and your potentially fulfilling college career, the one I sometimes fear slipped away from me. Here are some tips that might help you make it through four years, endless Bodo's trips and the romances in between.
#1: Don't let the men (or chicks) get you down. When dumped by your typical frat star, don't let any encounter with him or his friends be awkward. Stick to your guns, flash a smile and remember, in almost any situation, you are cooler than all of them combined.
#2: In the words of Wilco, "Long distance has no way / of making love / understandable." I don't mean to knock those of you who choose long distance, especially because all the engaged fourth years I know are in an LDR, but it's not an easy feat and is full of issues you may not want to face during stupidly stressful times like midterms.
#3: Be nice to your parents (to their face and behind their back). No matter what hand life dealt you, your parents are part of you and got you this far. They aren't perfect and never promised they would be. So stop whining. They deserve your respect, even when they're being total pains.
#4: Take care of your friends. It's easy to be self-involved in college, consumed by what you have to do and where you have to be. But I promise, when you are sitting where I am, three weeks away from the Promised Land, no club, sorority or GPA will matter if you didn't take advantage of those around you in the meantime.
#5: Take care of yourself. Go to therapy, ask yourself hard questions and take advantage of this time where you are old enough to live without basic help but young enough to elicit it when you goof up. Think about what you are doing to yourself and the people around you. Live consciously instead of constantly focusing on your agenda, your goals and your resume.
#6: Ask for what you need. No matter how little or big, embarrassing or not, ask your friends or romantic interests for what you need. Sure, it might be awkward opening up, but if you don't, you'll inevitably become bitter at the other and take out frustration on them they never even knew they were causing.
#7: Be comforted in knowing that almost every first or second year goes through an emotional slump. Often times, the newness of this place rubs off, you feel like a number among the many accomplished, good-looking people here or major shifts occur in your life at home or at school. It's totally normal to spend some time asking "What's the point?" Just take advantage of understanding friends, go for long drives to Crozet and breathe. It'll pass, I promise.
#8: Date someone random. Whether you work with him at an internship or meet someone on the Corner, give it a shot and expand your limits, which inevitably shrink over your time here.
#9: Realize that hooking up with no title can bite you in the butt. And will, more likely than not.
#10: Pay your friends back and treat your boy or gal to a date every now and then. Just because your friends always have you to their place or boyfriend offers to pay the bill doesn't mean they are made of money. As my Dad always reminds me, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." You'd rather pay your friends back than deal with their predictable bitterness towards your frugality.
All in all, I can't promise that these 10 tidbits will make your time here the best it can be. All I know is that in four years, I've paid attention to those around me, why I found myself upset, how I could have avoided it and then shared my ideas with you.
Like I've said before, I'm no "Dear Abby," but hopefully I've helped, if not just given you something to do in class.
It's been fun, so thanks for reading.
Callan's column ran bi-weekly on Tuesdays. She can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com.
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