"Gettimelam, Gettimelam!"
With the much-awaited cue, the musicians played the traditional wedding tune, and my cousin took the kaluthooru (wedding necklace) and tied its sacred cord with three knots, officially making the bride my Anni (a term meaning "elder brother's wife").
The three knots are said to symbolize the following: the first knot is of relationship, the second knot gives the bride and groom rights over each other, and the third knot tells the world they are married.
I stood there in my new purple sari, matching the ones my cousins wore, taking delight in all the special symbolic rituals that come along with a traditional South Indian wedding. The brilliant colors worn by the over 1,000 people present at the marriage also captured my attention. The number of guests was typical of South Indian weddings, where almost everyone the bride and groom know (and many more) are invited.
But the large number had its disadvantages as well -- the hundreds of people crowded into the relatively small hall combined with the heat of South India had proved to me that "sweating buckets" was literally possible.
As the bride and groom stood for pictures, their relatives were already scrambling off to take care of the preparations for the next portion of the festivities. The tying of the necklace, analogous to the exchanging of rings in a Christian wedding, was the most important ritual. Still, it was by no means either the beginning or end of the rituals that make up a Hindu marriage ceremony.
Traditional South Indian weddings, which used to span several days, are now condensed into a single day -- a long single day. My day had begun at 3 a.m., but I knew much of my family and the bride's family had been up even earlier.
Very early that morning, all of us at my grandparents' home had woken up to shower and get dressed in time to leave for the bride's home in a nearby village. The bride's home, which is where the wedding traditionally takes place, was only about an hour's drive from ours. We had to get up at an unseemly hour, however, because the tying of the necklace had to take place between 10 and 10:30 a.m. -- the auspicious time for that particular day, according to Hindu astrology. Also, there were various rituals that needed to be completed before the groom could tie the necklace around the bride's neck.
It took us about two hours to get showered and dressed (a rather long process, despite the fact that it was made infinitely easier for me when my aunt offered to help with my sari -- winding six yards of heavy silk fabric around myself in a pretty fashion is no easy task). All of us girls and ladies wore jasmine flowers in our hair, a typical Indian custom not only during special occasions, but also on normal days.
My cousin and his family, along with some of our other relatives, left early by car. The rest of us boarded a bus specifically rented to transport all of my cousin's extended family from my grandparents' house to the bride's home.
The uneven dirt road we traveled for an hour had the bus bumping up and down constantly -- and had me feeling incredibly queasy. The moment we arrived at the bride's home, we were ushered upstairs onto the motta maadi (many South Indian homes have terraces, which make a perfect gathering place when it's not too hot). They had covered the roof with a tarp, shading us from the sun, and set up tables for breakfast. We were served traditional Indian food on banana leaves, as is the custom.
After breakfast, we went downstairs and sat down for a while. Some of us went to go visit the bride in her room, where she was getting dressed -- the bride always wears an elaborate sari, along with numerous jewels on her head and around her neck, wrists and waist.
After awhile, all of us on the groom's side headed over to the nearby village temple, where my cousin had arrived early in the morning. Soon thereafter, a procession from the bride's home arrived to welcome the groom and his family, as well as lead them to the bride's home. They brought the traditional gifts for the groom, among them jewelry and a garland of flowers.
With much music and fanfare, my cousin was welcomed into the bride's home, where specific members of her family performed various rituals of welcome. As these rituals were taking place, the bride arrived in the marriage hall, looking gorgeous in an intricate red sari.
It is at this point that my cousin tied the necklace around his bride's neck, making her his wife. After this, the couple exchanged the flower garlands they were wearing and circled the fire, paying homage to the Hindu god of fire, Agni.
During the garland exchange, my cousin, already significantly taller than the bride, was standing on a platform a little above the ground, as per tradition. When he bent down to allow the bride to easily put the garland around his neck, the calls to "not bend down so much" made us laugh, since we were pretty sure there was deeper meaning beyond the literal interpretation of that advice.
Once these main rituals were over, we had lunch at the bride's home. My cousins and I rested for a little bit, but our parents kept rushing around, for there were still various rituals taking place.
My cousins and I left for our grandparents' home with some of our other relatives. We then changed, took a little nap and proceeded to get dressed up once more, though this time in slightly less fancy clothes. It would soon be time to welcome the bride to our home, and while we had been resting, our parents and other relatives had been getting ready for the various customs that surrounded this portion of the wedding ceremony.
Unfortunately, the weather didn't plan on cooperating with our plans, and rain was fast approaching my grandparents' town. As a result, a few of our relatives rushed to the bride's home to bring her to our town so the procession welcoming her to her new home could take place before the rain arrived.
Usually the bride's relatives accompany her as she is welcomed, but as they weren't quite ready, my relatives brought back just the bride, and the procession began as soon as possible.
Once again, music and fanfare accompanied the welcome home, and we even managed to beat the rain, which began just as the procession entered my grandparents' house.
Then followed various rituals conducted by the bride's mother-in-law and sister-in-law to welcome the bride. Once the rituals were over and the bride's relatives arrived, there was a wedding reception, and the night slowly wound down as guests began to leave.
I collapsed into bed even before the rituals were over, feeling rather sick, but the busy day had been one of much festivity, color, laughter and fun -- a day that I would certainly not forget for a long time to come.
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