The truth about skinny jeans: I don't care what all the magazines say, you cannot wear skinny jeans. Don't take it personally, because, in my experience, 99.99 percent of people cannot. Is it because they were invented by an evil mastermind who created the most unflattering shape imaginable? Perhaps. If you have the slightest amount of body fat, skinny jeans will make you look chubby. Furthermore, your legs will look at least four inches shorter in them. This is a scientific fact. Even if you see a picture somewhere with Eva Longoria wearing skinny jeans and looking super hot, remember that she has a team of stylists. And in real life I've heard that she looks like an eight-year-old, so maybe she really does have the body for them. The moral of this story is to leave skinny jeans to fashion history, and embrace clothes that actually make your body look good.
Fat people are having the best week ever:
Lately it has been a harsh world out there for skinny people. Curvy peeps might think it is about time they got their comeuppance, but I am not taking sides. Regardless, around the world, twig-like folk are losing their greatest pastime -- namely, modeling. In Madrid, new rules have been passed for the Madrid Fashion Week, where models have to have a certain BMI (Body Mass Index) to participate in the shows. The new guidelines are a reaction to various outcries about emaciated models, and the idea that the fashion industry is promoting unhealthy bodies and eating disorders. The new BMI generally requires a weight of about 122 pounds for a midget model who is 5 feet 9 inches. All I have to say is, Viva España. It's about time those size-2 shorties out there got a chance to strut their stuff on the catwalk.
If you look around the University, you might notice that there are a fair amount of slim folk here as well. One Facebook group in particular has come to my attention that mocks the stereotypical sorority girl at this school. I must admit that "I Love Take it Away because it's Easy to Throw Up" has given me a chuckle or two, but I realize that eating disorders and excessive exercising is not a laughing matter. It is not incredibly difficult to figure out who the target is with lines like, "I can always show off how much I don't eat because I know [Take it Away] will be packed with girls in sororities I know!" Granted, I may be a sorority girl who enjoys Take it Away, but at the same time, the group illustrates that body issues might be treated a little too lightly at the University, so keep an eye out for friends who seem to be engaging in unhealthy behavior.
And last but not least,
Why you should occasionally change your clothes:
A friend of mine first pointed him out in Newcomb a few weeks ago, and now I see him everywhere. You, too, may have noticed this particular boy. About our age and height, for some unclear reason, he wears the same outfit virtually every day. Granted, I do not see him at home (the spycam fell off his really cool vest) or on the weekends. I spot him approximately every Monday through Thursday, however, and without fail, he is always wearing the same baseball cap, vest, collared shirt and shorts. This may not sound particularly unusual, and I hate to be too specific for fear of being called a "meanie," although hate mail is my favorite.
Anyway, I assure you that his outfit is distinct. For starters, his polo is orange and the shorts are purple. If you learned the color wheel at all in elementary school, you might notice that these colors are really not complementary at all. Now someone's going to beat me up for making fun of a colorblind kid who is trying to express his school spirit, which may in fact be the case. But in the event that said student does not have a disability or abject poverty to blame for only having one set of clothing, I offer my services as an excellent shopper at his disposal. Wherever you are, Boy Who Wears the Same Clothes Always (BWWSCA), you can be the first recipient of the newest Madison House project -- Booster(ing) Wardrobes, Saving Lives.
Alex's column runs bi-weekly on Fridays. She can be reached at jospin@cavalierdaily.com.
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