After Virginia's narrow win over Wyoming Saturday, a good friend of mine said that every year, he has to have a "DTR-type" conversation with the team in the home opener to figure out the status of their relationship over the course of the season.
A "DTR," for clarification, stands for a discussion "defining the relationship," often occurring after a couple has been "hanging out" for a while.
The dominant individual in the relationship will usually tease the other participant along, avoiding the DTR or minimizing the discussion.
The "lower hand in the relationship" tries to force a decision on the status of the relationship, though often puts the DTR off in favor of "waiting it out" until the other individual is ready.
Such has been my experience with the Virginia football team.
I have never been able to define my relationship with Cavalier football. And inevitably, every season, I have a discussion with myself over how much I want to personally invest in the team.
The "hanging out" occurs every offseason. I follow some storylines. I get to know the team. I go to practice and media weekend. I set my expectations. I hook up with a few stories to follow during the year.
At some point in the season, however, a DTR is upon us. I have the lower hand in the relationship, so naturally, I force the discussion.
During my first year, Virginia football won out.
"Let's just get to know each other some more," the team told me.
So I rooted for the "Scheisman." I went to Florida State three hours early to get a good seat. I came back from Thanksgiving to watch the Virginia Tech game. I wore orange apparel to every contest.
For the most part -- aside from a home victory over the Hokies -- the Cavaliers led me along, coaxing me to continue to "hang out" when I wasn't sure whether I wanted to tailgate or get a good seat.
The debate continued second-year, and I once again attempted to force the discussion.
But we were 5-0 heading down to Florida State. I left tailgates early to see Cav Man. We almost beat Miami. We almost beat Virginia Tech.
And I continued to get dragged along, not sure about whether I wanted to have a personal stake in such a one-sided relationship.
What had Virginia football done to earn my support?
By third-year, I was getting frustrated.
"[The Virginia football team] never does what I want to do."
We lost to Maryland, 45-33.
"[The Virginia football team] is never ready on time."
We lost to North Carolina, 7-5.
"[The Virginia football team] is always letting me down."
We lost to Virginia Tech, 52-14.
I was beginning to think that the team just wanted to hang out forever, without giving me any concrete evidence that I should even be going to games anymore.
But I still had the lower hand in the relationship. We kept putting off the DTR. I was hoping that the team would change and finally find success.
By the end of the year, I was so frustrated that I was tailgating well into the second half.
Enter fourth-year.
For many students, the Wyoming game defined their relationship with Virginia football for the 2006 season.
Like that sad lover who keeps coming back for more, we stood on the hill during Saturday's home opener as we have done so many times before.
But this time, many fans questioned the relationship. Many shook their heads and wandered off at the end of regulation, wondering where the relationship stood.
My aforementioned buddy told me that this year he wasn't going to accept a serious relationship with the Virginia football team. They had broken his heart too many times.
I haven't decided the outcome of my DTR with the Cavaliers quite yet, even though I had this team pegged at 5-7 in July. It is my last year in Charlottesville and maybe I should be there for every game. Maybe I should give Virginia football one more chance. Maybe I shouldn't define the relationship as a failure yet.
Or maybe I should hang out with my real friends.
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