Remember how in the Peanuts cartoons Lucy would set up that booth and Charlie Brown would come and ask advice about the little redheaded girl? Well, let's use our imaginations to turn Charlie into my three blonde roommates, and make the redheaded girl their respective (male) love interests, and I'm basically Lucy with a more diverse wardrobe.
When I was in elementary school, I didn't get all Os for Outstanding. I know it's shocking in this University bubble of straight As being more important than the health of close family members, but I actually got a few Ss (for Satisfactory). Whenever my mom would come in for parent-teacher conferences, my current homeroom teacher would inevitable tell her that I had a "listening problem." Apparently I was too busy being my bad-ass third-grade self to worry about what my teacher was attempting to teach me.
So the good news is that, given my current status as house psychiatrist, my listening skills seem to have improved.
The first of the blonde roommates has been dating this guy for about two months. Given that it's a new relationship, I have to make all her decisions for her. In all fairness, when we moved into our house, she told me she needed someone to help her make her life decisions due to her complete inability to do so. Technically, my authority in her relationship is simply an extension of our previous agreement. I was really upset when she agreed to go out with this guy without my approval. The good news is that I like her boyfriend, or else she would have been totally screwed.
On a seemingly unrelated note, I am slowly going broke. I worked throughout high school and most of college, but my trip abroad last semester drained my assets more than I expected. Every time I write a check, I die a little inside. On the upside, I've come up with a solution: I'm going to start charging a nominal fee for the time I spend trying to explain to my friends that, basically, they're crazy.
I feel horrible for my sole male roommate and fellow non-blonde. Because he lives with four girls, he has to deal with what he deems "woman drama" more often than most men comb their hair. In sympathy with him and for my own purposes, I am training to become completely apathetic -- in other words, a guy. Some men may feel I've just insulted them, but I've actually paid them an incredible compliment. As some have pointed out in the past, girls tend to overanalyze just about everything. It probably has something to do with trying to entertain ourselves while the men were out hunting and we were gathering.
I've had some major slip-ups in my quest to become less womanlike, but I think my worst mistake so far has been putting up with the woman drama. I just can't get out of it sometimes.
I think it's important to point out that the tendency to overanalyze is not exclusively a female trait. For example, a few weeks ago I went to dinner with a friend at a restaurant on the Corner. She knew our waiter, and it was a fairly slow dinner hour, so the waiter struck up a conversation with us. Not surprisingly, the subject turned to his current relationship, which, from what I could gather, was not going well. Just to emphasize here, a person I barely know asked me for relationship advice. I felt like I was back in my house, listening to my various roommates overanalyze pretty much every statement ever to emerge from the mouth of a member of the male gender.
The really funny part about all of this is that I'm not even in a relationship, so I hardly have some sort of model on which to judge. Then again, maybe being single gives me an important perspective when trying to figure out the relationships of others.
My room has become the hangout room of the house, which I love. As I write this column, two of the roomies are sitting on my bed. Try not to be shocked, but they're talking about their men. According to my male roommate, the remedy to this situation is simple. To quote him, "When you don't know what to do, or the drama is overwhelming, just fall into a self-induced coma."
It seems that our time for today is up. That will be $200. Please pay the receptionist on your way out. Meanwhile ... [falls into self-induced coma.]
Laura's column runs bi-weekly on Thursdays. She can be reached at lsisk@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 4 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | 5 days agoWhat the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
