THERE'S been a lot of fuss recently in this paperabout sexual assault. Many college men, obviously sympathetic to the issue, argue that although women are not to blame for rape, there are precautions that can be taken to make these "unwanted situations" less likely. Don't wear those scandalous mini-skirts. Don't walk home at 4 a.m. Alas, if it were only so easy.
All these well-meaning words of advice are based on assumptions and biases that obfuscate the reality of sexual assault. When the rapist is statistically more likely to be the nice young man walking the woman home than a stranger from the shadows of an alley, the unfortunate futility of "prevention" is made manifest. Thus, instead of pontificating about what a woman can do to prevent the unpreventable, it is more productive to promote an environment of believing the survivor rather than at all implying she had a say in whether or not she was sexually assaulted.
Women are told by society not to put themselves in dangerous situations -- the problem is, any situation can be dangerous. First of all, disabuse yourself of the creepy-stranger image of a rapist. Seventy-five percent of rapists have known their victims for more than a year. The very word "rapist" has such a pejorative connotation that most people construct an image completely inconsistent with reality. Rapists aren't always those guys you see on America's Most Wanted. It's more likely your best friend's boyfriend's friend you had a great time talking to at the bar. In order to wrap our minds around difficult truths, we tend to categorize and simplify people into Disney-esque good guys and bad guys. Yes, there are quite a few categorically bad people who sexually assault women and men. At the same time, otherwise good people make some very sordid decisions. These men may have believed the woman wanted it -- she was just playing hard to get. But there is pretty clear difference between a woman being playful and a woman who physically and verbally says "no." For such an intimate act, both people should at the very least clearly consent.
If any life scenario can become dangerous, what is a woman supposed to do? Should she stay in her room all day and night, doors locked, under the covers, armed with a can of mace? What so many people don't understand is that there is no real precaution that can be taken to prevent a rapist from following through on his intentions.
The most offensive, vile comment made to a sexual assault survivor is that she was too confused to know if she was raped or not. Let's reconstruct the scene: A woman was drinking a little too much jungle juice at her favorite fraternity, she meets a handsome man wearing a polo of a very flattering shade of pink, one thing leads to another, and she wakes up the next morning next to someone whose name she cannot remember. Ah, pity the feeble woman whose mind cannot distinguish between regret and rape! What a deeply sadistic and vindictive woman to go through the pains of a rape kit (25 pubic hairs are individually plucked in order to file a police report) in order to... punish the man? This is simply not what occurs. According to the FBI Uniform Crime Reports, less than five percent of rape reports are false. This is a very small number. The bigger issue, however, is the fact that more than half of sexual assaults go unreported, according to RAINN. Most women who are raped never file a police report out of shame and not wanting to endure accusations like those levied against them in today's culture of "what they should have done."
Instead of questioning a woman who has the courage to report rape, it is much more rational and humane to believe her. The line of questioning used in sexual assault cases versus other types of violent crime puts in relief the prejudice against women. When someone is robbed, people don't ask, "Well, how late were you out?" "Did you fight back?" No, of course not. Why then, is sexual assault so different? As long as victim blaming continues to drown out the cries of sexually assaulted women, this culture of silence will persist and envelope our mothers, our daughters and our sisters in a wrought-iron cage of paranoia and self-blame.
Marta Cook is a member of Sexual Assault Peer Advocacy. Her column appears Wednesdays in The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at mcook@cavalierdaily.com.
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