The release of Kevin Federline's new album, Playing with Fire, marks significant changes in his life -- not only is he a rap artist hitting the big time with his mad talent, but, more significantly, he is soon to be Mr. Ex-Spears. Throughout the CD, K.Fed makes the easy mistake of confusing his unfortunate state of celebrity with actual fame, all the while acknowledging his propitious circumstance, as he talks and yells and tries to rap his way to a hot album, failing in every step of the way.
The problem with this record, however, is not the horrible lyrics or Kevin's abysmal lack of rapping skills or even the fact that it's Kevin Federline but the omission of "Popozao," K.Fed's pseudo-famous jam about shaking your Brazilian money maker.
"Intro" features Sean Preston and Sutton Pierce's (or Jayden James', depending on which reliable tabloid you trust) future children asking K.Fed what life was like when he was young. The song feature's a montage of news headlines including one saying, "In other recent news, Federline has been criticized for being a poor father." (Judging by his record, this is clearly a lie.) He once again proves that his album is a sham, and his best career move was his marriage to Ms. Spears.
Throughout the album, K.Fed does a significant amount of name-dropping, including Captain Hook, Young Jeezy, Osama bin Laden and especially his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Ms. Britney Spears.
After countless references, the real live Britney Spears makes a guest appearance on what is the best track on the CD, "Crazy." While her voice is completely synthesized and robotic, the track is a short walk down memory lane as it is mildly reminiscent of the pop princess of old. "Crazy" is a pleasant, poppy digression from K.Fed's lame attempts to produce kickin' rock jams --- it's saying something significant, however, when the only good (relatively speaking) part of the song is the chorus, when Ms. Spears moans her vocal line.
The entire album is an unsuccessful attempt to justify the Spears-Federline union, as, especially in "Crazy," they constantly declare their attraction for each other and rationalize their marriage with explanations like, "She calls me Daddy / but she ain't my daughter." Classy, K.Fed.
In "Keep on Talkin," K.Fed clarifies that, "My name is K. Federline / Pancaking all the time." Though he fails to clarify what "pancaking" actually involves, he does make it clear that he may be one of the least educated individuals on the planet when he prescribes marijuana as a remedy for cataracts. (According to the Internet, pancaking either involves illegally taking a concoction of prescription drugs or a sexual practice as dirty as K.Fed himself.)
In "Lose Control," K.Fed explains that his CD has "That hip hop flavor / mixed with a little bit of rock and roll." It seems like calling Playing with Fire music is a stretch, much less rock and roll.
Kevin Federline's Playing with Fire has the effect of making you want to uninstall your iTunes. Or just rip off your ears. Congratulations, Mr. Ex-Spears, self-declared "America's most hated," you've made the worst album of the year. Maybe you should stick to your day job, which is...?
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