After several months of our complaining about temperatures above 50, Nature has graced us with some snow, which is on the ground as I write this column — although by the time the column runs, it will likely have melted away, like Tom Cruise’s sanity. This occurrence is likely to precipitate (hee hee) all manner of celebration around Grounds, and to a certain extent, one must wonder why.
After all, this isn’t grade school; if it snows, we don’t get to stay home and watch “SpongeBob.” We simply trudge to class and get our socks wet in the process. The snow gets mixed with dirt and turns into an unappealing slop. And a traffic situation that is already pretty rough becomes still more frustrating. (Thank goodness it’s harder for motorists to give each other the finger while wearing thick gloves.)
However, the cynics must concede that it has been a mind-boggling winter. Sandals and shorts have seen considerable off-season use, and all over the world ski resorts are having to shut down for lack of snow. Some attribute the unseasonable weather to global warming, which I try not to think about — it’s too “inconvenient” (hee hee). I’ve also heard that El Niño may be playing a role in the high temperatures. That very well may be, but I have to confess that I have no idea what El Niño is. Sounds like the name of one of Ricky Martin’s backup dancers.
Of course, if you’ve lived in the mid-Atlantic for a while, this is nothing new to you. Variable weather conditions in winter are common here. We have a saying where I come from, “If you don’t like the weather in D.C., wait five minutes.” I must have tried that a dozen times before I realized that was just an expression.
Whatever the reason for them, we’ve all been shaken by the unusual conditions. We like to wake up in the morning and see the sun, to turn on the faucet and get water and to open the paper and read something embarrassing about Britney Spears. With snow, it’s the same situation �??- we’ve been trained since birth to associate snow with winter. Think about it — when you drew your pictures of the four seasons in elementary school, did your winter picture show people in Rainbows? That’s what I thought.
Besides, there’s a certain beauty to a landscape covered in snow. The whole world seems reflective and bright and fluffy, and we leave sets of footprints everywhere like bears (bears with North Face jackets). We can even try to catch the snowflakes on our tongues, which is wonderfully innocent fun for a few minutes before you remember that there’s probably some acid in the snow and you decide that you’ve had enough snow in your mouth for one winter, thanks.
Our youthful exuberance sooner or later compels us to have a snowball fight. Of all traditions enjoyed by the children of cold climates, this one is probably the most beloved, at least here in red-blooded America. Go figure — legions of people who would never throw things at people in normal situations suddenly become downright belligerent. Sure, snow is soft, but as any snowball fight veteran can tell you, not necessarily. Packed well, you can get incredibly hard missiles out of the stuff, resulting in satisfying thwacks but also broken friendships. For the sake of the Academical Village, pack ‘em soft this winter.
Of course, what comes down must melt. Around Grounds, this tends to create puddles of biblical proportions. The sidewalks of our beloved University are as treacherous as the Temple of Doom, full of cracks that fill with water to astounding depths. I swear I expect to find the wreckage of the Titanic in some of these puddles. Before long, we’ll have seaweed nipping at our ankles.
To conclude, the advent of snow is certainly a welcome sign of winter. I might go so far as to say it brings us seasonal cheer, if we hadn’t just been saddled with problem sets and Toolkit readings. Of course, there are drawbacks, but one can really say this about every season. Spring is too wet, summer is too hot, fall is too leafy and winter is accompanied by white death powder. I, for one, embrace the stuff. Just watch out — I pack ‘em hard.
Matt’s column runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. He can be reached at mwaring@cavalierdaily.com.
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