I have this strange sort of "like" for llamas. I wouldn't quite call it an obsession, but it is pretty close. The other day in class (my first of this glorious new semester), this kid next to me was wearing a hat with llamas on it. I asked him, "Hey, are those llamas on your hat!?" (with many more exclamation points than my editor would ever allow). He replied, "Uh, I don't know." Obviously students at this University need to be educated on how great llamas are. (At this point I would like to issue an apology to that kid for seeming a little strange, and for talking to him at that early hour of the morning.) However, the focus of this column will be on strange obsessions rather than the wonderful llama.
One obsession that I think is prevalent at the University is being naked. I was only back for six hours before I saw my first streaker of the New Year. I am not going to lie, I love being naked, too ... but on a Sunday night in January? Really, now. (At this point I would like to issue another apology, this time to the naked running kid who I heckled ... you really weren't that slow.)
Another obsession at the University is North Face. I actually owned a North Face fleece once (FOR SKIING), and I think I gave it away. Actually, I think now I buy any outdoor clothing brand that is not North Face, just to be a jerk. (Now I will issue an apology to all of those who wear that beloved brand and ... actually, nah, I won't).
Here is an interest, bordering on obsession, that is personal but I am not the only one who has it: other people's inappropriate relationships. I have to also admit that I just bought "Stacy's Mom" on iTunes. Now, I don't go for moms, but I like that this kid knows what he wants.
In the same vein, with the popularity of Facebook as solid proof, I think that "stalking" is another popular activity at the University. Now I am not talking about wearing a trenchcoat, making prank phone calls, knowing-what-you-ate-for-breakfast stalking. Facebook allows you to stalk in a dignified manner. You can get all the information you want without being caught in a tree trying to explain the binoculars hanging around your neck.
Another common obsession is preparedness. ISIS becomes my best friend around this time of year. I check it all the time just to make sure I am really signed up for a class -- as if it might have been dropped by some sort of ill fate.
Sometimes when I drive to work I will go over in my mind what I brought with me to be prepared for the day's activities. It usually goes like this: "Hmmm ... lunch, cell phone, running clothes, car keys ... CAR KEYS? Noooo! I forgot the keys, how am I going to be able to drive home?! [Enter another moment or so of freaking out] Oh yeah, they are in the ignition."
Some people obsess about being clean. I don't really have that problem, and for that I issue another apology.
I obsess over having warm extremities if going on an expedition. I can't stand it if my digits are cold. I am most certainly over-prepared for every outdoor experience. I am the kid that you see running around with boxing glove-esque mittens and a mere pair of shorts.
You know what obsession I hate? Those people who obsess over whether everyone is happy -- "Oh, you stepped in a puddle, I am sooo sorry." Dude, it's not your fault. Or another common expression is, "Are you having a good time? Do you need anything?" Yeah, I need a disposable income, a date, admission to grad school, a full scholarship, talent.
Actually, I think I am that person ... but it is annoying on both ends. But I really hope you like this column, and please let me know if I can do anything else for you!
Maggie's column runs bi-weekly on Fridays. She can be reached at jones@cavalierdaily.com.
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