If you're on Facebook at all, you've probably heard of the group called "Overheard at U.Va." Students all over Grounds get online and post funny quotes they have heard from passers-by, usually taken out of context. Inspired by this, I decided to turn off my iPod and do what most socially well-adjusted college kids do.
I eavesdropped. A lot.
Since it would be highly unprofessional to imitate the Facebook group by taking random quotes out of context and laughing at them, I've decided to carefully examine some of the more common quotes heard around Grounds ... and laugh at them.
Random cold guy: "OMG, it is sooo cold outside! My legs are literally freezing off."
I have two words for you: double pants. That's right, all you have to do is slip on an extra pair of pants in the morning, and you can welcome back the days when you could laugh at problems like, ahem, male shrinkage. Let's be honest, who doesn't love that episode of "Seinfeld"?
Library geek: "Oh man, I had so much work last night it was sick. I had to pull an all-nighter. I didn't get to bed until six!"
First of all, it is way too early in the semester to be pulling all-nighters. You probably suck at doing work. But, since I was also nerding it up in the library when I heard this, I'll let it go. Now back to the issue at hand. It is all kinds of weaksauce to say you pulled an all-nighter and then actually get some sleep. If you haven't been awake for at least 24 hours straight, it's just called staying up late.
Facebook: "Little John's: It's so good."
Ok, not actually a quote. Yes, I stole that from another Facebook group, but it deserves attention in its own right. When I first came to the University, an outgoing fourth year told me that Little John's was just "that place where first years go." For the longest time (i.e. my entire first year) I thought he was wrong. I thought Little John's was awesome. Now that I've discovered the best deli ever (Pacino's, down past the 14th Street bridge next to Café Europa, no they did not pay me to write this), I'm starting to see what he meant. Of course, it would be reckless to say that Little John's is always full of first years. After all, belligerently drunk frat boys are such an important part of college life and Little John's belongs to them too.
Red Hot Chili Peppers Fan: "That concert was amazing! I touched Flea's shoulder!"
Yeah, yeah, RHCP is a pretty good band and I'm glad you had a good time. The concert has been over for almost a week now --- it's time to calm down. Also, why aren't we making a bigger deal out of Justin Timberlake coming in March?
Drunk guy: "Woo! Superbowl! Bears vs. Colts! What comes before part B? PART-AY! So who've you got?"
DA BEARS!! Er, not really. I actually have the Colts winning this one, but that's just so fun to say. Try it.
DAAA BEARRRSS.
Unbelievably attractive woman: "Hey, Ed, you don't know me, but I'm a huge fan. I read you column every time it comes out and it makes my day. We should be lovers."
Just kidding, no one has ever said that. Any of it. It would be really cool if it did happen though ...
Editor: "Ed, all you did with this column was find a marginally clever way to force your opinions on your readers. Fix it."
Wow, I know this editor is new and all, but she actually thinks I have readers?
Well, I guess I do have one loyal reader. She may not always be able to appreciate my point of view, understand my jokes or even speak English fluently, but she's still a reader. Thanks, Mom!
Ed's column runs biweekly on Fridays. He can be reached at edcao@cavalierdaily.com.
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