I had a nightmare about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a child. I admit that it sounds ridiculous, because the Turtles are champions for good and not evil, but I still found it horrifying enough that I have never been able to forget it. Luckily for me, the new animated film about the characters, TMNT, isn't remotely as traumatizing as that unfortunate dream. It's kind of fun.
Having defeated their arch nemesis, Shredder, the Turtles are in limbo. Leonardo (James Arnold Taylor) has been away for over a year trying to become a better leader. Donatello (Mitchell Whitfield) has gotten a job answering IT help lines, and Michelangelo (Mikey Kelley) dresses up like himself to entertain children at birthday parties. Raphael (Nolan North) has become an angst-ridden vigilante with a Leonardo-shaped chip on his shoulder. While the Turtles try to follow the guidance of Splinter (Mako) and come together as a team, the extremely successful businessman Max Winters (Patrick Stewart) has begun collecting ancient statues of mythical generals with the help of the Turtles' allies, April O'Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Casey Jones (Chris Evans). Thirteen ancient monsters have suddenly appeared in New York City and have begun to terrorize the Big Apple, and Winters -- who is actually an immortal warrior -- has resurrected his old comrades, who were previously trapped in the statues. Will the Turtles get over their issues and band together with their friends before some stars align and a portal opens and the generals and the monsters take over the world, or, um, something?
As you may have noticed, the plot of TMNT is surprisingly complicated. There is sequence narrated by Lawrence Fishburne detailing a war between opposing forces that look like Cylons and the army from The Mummy Returns, and some horrible incident involving a portal to some powerful realm. It's all rather confusing and more than a little annoying. None of the villains are particularly impressive, especially as they regularly recite stilted taunts like, "You are stupid. We are immortal and made of stone."
The film is not without its charm. The humor is rarely gratingly childish. The audience I saw TMNT with was comprised of elementary-school children and college students, and my peers seemed to enjoy it more than the kids did. Though many of the laughs came from the surfer dude comments of Michelangelo, many are the result of jokes that are self-referential or obviously directed toward older audiences. Of course, there are more than a few scenes that caused unintentional laughter. In addition to the previously mentioned dialogue issues, there are some ridiculously macho moments featuring close-ups of narrowed eyes and blatant disregard for the basic laws of physics.
Whether they're laughing with TMNT or at it, people with any affection for the cartoons or the comics should enjoy this film. Citizen Kane it is not, but it has some bitchin' CGI and a lot of laughs. Go to a matinee, sneak in some candy, act like a kid for an afternoon and watch some genetically altered turtles kick a lot of ass! Oh, and if you manage to find a place that sells ninja smoke pellets, please let me know.
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