This is an exciting time of year. The weather is starting to warm up, summer is in sight and college basketball is about to go completely nuts.
First, I'd like to congratulate our basketball team for getting a No. 4 seed in the tournament. Great job, guys. And while we're at it, I have an apology for Jason Cain.
Dear J-Dawg,
Can I call you that? Probably not. Anyway, I'm sorry for poking fun at you in my column last fall. You can wear your facial hair however you want. Some of my neighbors are selling shirts that say, "JC is my homeboy" on the front and, to make amends, I will be buying one and wearing it every day we're in the tourney. I hope we can be friends.
Sincerely,
E-Dawg
Now that I have that off my chest, let's get on to the real purpose of this column: brackets.
It is nearly impossible for any college-aged male to resist filling out a bracket. We get all hopped up on testosterone, ESPN and ridiculous amounts of smack talk. We spend hours poring over obscure statistics, common opponents, heights, weights and whatever else comes up on Google when we type in "NCAA Basketball." When we are finally done with all of our research, we go ahead and jump into as many tournament pools we can find and turn up the trash talking just a little bit more.
Then someone's girlfriend absolutely destroys everyone.
The truth about these brackets is that regardless of how much you know (or think you know) about college basketball, it's all just a guessing game in the end.
By the time this column prints, one day of the tournament will already have passed. That means that as you read this, thousands of people will already have their brackets wholly and completely ruined.
In an attempt to understand why an accurate bracket is so rare, I observed as many different styles of picking teams as possible.
1) Pick 'em
Playing it straight. Picking teams based on what you know about them and what your gut tells you. You're a self-proclaimed basketball watcher. Bracketology is a part of your vocabulary and you're not scared to admit it.
2) Mascot showdown
This encompasses everything from picking teams based on which ones have the cutest mascots to picking the winner based on which team's mascot would win in a fight. You know almost nothing about college basketball. But, that doesn't make you a bad person. One of my favorite quotes of all time came from someone who was a classic Mascot Picker: "So...umm...when is March Madness?"
3) The name game
Just like with the mascots, this one can mean a lot of different things. This one can range from picking the team with the longest name, to picking the team with the coolest name. Xavier anybody? There is no way anyone can think of a school in the tournament with a cooler name than that. Just like the Mascot Pickers, you know almost nothing about college basketball. The difference? You're a guy.
4) Statistical analysis
Believe it or not, there are people out there who use statistics to predict who will win games. We're not talking points per game statistics here, either. We're talking "stuff you might learn in STAT 722" statistics. You are a calculator-wielding power geek. I would normally put an E-School related comment here, but it just seems too easy.
Say what you will about the different methods people use. Again, it's all just a guessing game in the end. Now if you'll excuse me, this calculator-wielding power geek has a few more calculations to make. If you need me, I will be at the top of the standings of the U.Va. pool on Facebook. Who knows, maybe I'll still be wearing my "JC is my homeboy" T-shirt.
Ed's column runs biweekly on Fridays. He can be reached at edcao@cavalierdaily.com.
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