At the University, no figure casts a longer shadow than that of six-foot-11-inch basketball center Tunji Soroye. But that's speaking literally. In fact, the person who most influences our daily lives is none other than Thomas Jefferson, who died more than 180 years ago (don't believe the conspiracy theory that he merely went into hiding and is plotting a comeback with Tupac Shakur at the next lunar eclipse).
Who was Thomas Jefferson, anyway? What kind of man was he? Trick question, he was a demigod, not a man. Now, if you really wanted to learn about T.J. and his legacy at the University, you could take a class, read a book or go on a fascinating historical tour provided by the University Guide Service. But you're not going to do that because you are lazy and unmotivated. I know this because right now instead of doing your lab report you are reading a column that once argued for the existence of God by citing the existence of a certain premium cable TV package.
Thus I have taken it upon myself to tell you all about our founder. But I must warn you: I am not going to sugarcoat my account of the illustrious T.J. Rather, I am going to confront head-on the most controversial issues that surround his persona, such as whether "Don Quixote" really was his favorite book and whether he could fry an egg with his mind. (Short answers: yes and probably not, respectively.) Then, if I have time I will also address his alleged affair with Sally Hemmings and his conflicted attitude regarding slavery.
Jefferson was born April 13, 1743 in Shadwell, Virginia. Actually, a lot of kids were born there. In fact, they should have called it "Shagwell," so many kids were born there. The young Thomas was always getting into mischief. Once, his father Peter went off to survey some unsettled land and told his children to stay home and study Latin vocabulary. Well -- wouldn't you know it -- Thomas decided to study Greek vocabulary instead. What a scallywag! When Peter returned home, he looked at his son knowingly and said, "Et tu, T.J.?" Because of his recent disobedience, Thomas didn't have a clue what his father's words meant.
I digress. Flash forward to the years 1784-1789. As foreign minister in France, Jefferson was treated like a king, especially when he masqueraded in his Louis XVI costume. Afterward, he continued to rise among the ranks of early American politicians to become president, which was then one of the most powerful and prestigious offices in the U.S. government. During his two terms, he single-handedly observed European nations destroy one another. He also managed to buy the Louisiana Territory and Canada, the latter purchase being largely ignored by historians and people in general.
Jefferson had earlier developed his republican ideals while composing the Declaration of Independence under the working title, "Back Up Off Me, King George III." Around the same time, he had drafted the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, which, when it was passed years later, helped resolve many tensions between Christians and ... other Christians.
Jefferson's authorship of these two documents and his founding of the University are the three feats engraved on his tombstone at Monticello. In a footnote on the tombstone he explains, "I was going to do something funny like write, 'Here lies Thomas Jefferson,' and then list a bunch of made-up stuff, but apparently Adams already called dibs on that joke. So then I thought I could mention all my greatest moments, like the time I crushed Napoleon in that cage match, but tombstone space has gotten quite expensive and I'm leaving enough debt behind as it is. In fact, I seem to be running out of room already, so I'll leave it there for now, but see you all for the lunar eclipse in 2007."
When Jefferson retired from public life, there was a problem in that Spain continued to cling to her colony of Florida. This meant that retirees were very limited in their options for migrating, and Jefferson ended up staying in Albemarle County, where his legacy lives on at the University.
After T.J. built the Rotunda in seven days, his project of founding the University really started to coalesce. The school which Jefferson envisioned was one where knowledge would be valued above all else. That dream clearly has been realized in today's University, where learning is apparently valued even above the cost of keeping the heat on indoors when it's March and 75 degrees outside.
Will there ever be another man like Thomas Jefferson? No. Will there ever be another school like the University of Virginia? Never. Will I ever write another column like this one? Let's hope not. But let us always remain proud that we can trace our roots back to Shagwell.
Dan's column runs weekly on Wednesdays. He can be reached at dooley@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
A review on a year with a roommate
By Rosie Strickland | 4 days agoMy roommate has indirectly taught me the importance of learning how to build my own routine.
Africa Day captures the ‘essence’ of African heritage
By Kate Johnson | 5 days agoSaturday's sold-out event featured a four-hour program of modeling scenes, dance performances and musical acts in the Newcomb Ballroom.
A guide to the perfect first date
By Anna Stamey | 6 days agoHere's my take on the formula you should use to scheme a potentially perfect date.
