I never thought I would turn my back on this University. I never thought I would so willingly abandon the friends I love, the classes I enjoy and the a cappella groups I tolerate. But that was before I realized how easy it would be to let go.
It's not that I've grown tired of the life I have here. I just need a temporary change of pace to keep things fresh. As a young child, I learned from watching "Maury Povich" that adultery doesn't count if it is done to save a marriage. I think that's pretty much the most relevant analogy for my current situation.
The situation is this: In order to preserve the mutual love between the University and myself, and in order to maintain my enthusiasm for learning, I have decided to study abroad this summer. Obviously I care too much about this school to sacrifice an entire semester in Charlottesville, and obviously I care too much about my summer to squander it on a lucrative internship. All anyone ever got out of a summer job was a whole lot of money, relevant experience and an offer to work for the same boring company after graduation. Plus, then you have to file tax returns. I pity you Commerce school kids, I really do.
In addition to confining my scheduled trip to the summer, another way I tried to avoid upsetting the University was by going behind her back, since that almost always works (again, the wisdom of Maury Povich at work). The added benefit I foresaw was that another school might offer novel opportunities beyond our Jeffersonian way of thinking. The program I opted for is in fact run by Michigan State University, which is located somewhere out in the Louisiana Territory, I think.
Of course, what my new mistress didn't tell me at first was that she required all sorts of signatures from my home institution -- odd requests for a mistress to make, but nevertheless required. And so I went, ashamed, to the International Studies Office in Minor Hall.
When I entered the office and approached the front desk, I was immediately asked if I had an appointment to meet with my study abroad advisor. I asked what a study abroad advisor was. They asked if I was planning to study abroad, and I said yes. They asked if I was going next fall or the following spring. I said my plane was leaving in a month. They looked at me with disdain and told me it was too late to get permission for a summer program. I asked if it was too late to throw their desk out the window. They escorted me out of the building.
On my second visit to the International Studies Office I was more determined. Since all I needed to satisfy MSU's people was a single signature indicating I was in fact a U.Va. student, I remained hopeful. My hope was crushed, of course, when I discovered that I needed a special code simply to file a petition for approval of my chosen program. This code, in turn, could only be obtained at General Information Sessions (GIS), which are held at the exact same time "Maury Povich" comes on. Quite the conundrum, indeed.
I bit the bullet and attended the GIS, after which everything fell into place (except for the fact that I still don't know whether Jason is the father of Leanne's baby). Still, in a way I feel I've already completed a great journey by going through the University's study abroad application process. If I had to assign a title to this journey, it would be "To Hell and Back." I kid -- it really wasn't that difficult. Plus, I got to learn all about the "2020 Vision," that precious brainchild of President John T. Casteen, III. From my understanding, what the "vision" boils down to is a proposal to get every University student to study in 20 different countries by the time he or she reaches 20 years of age -- a lofty goal considering most of the students I know are already at least 20 and have yet to venture beyond Alderman Café to study.
Now I know there are a lot of skeptics out there who think the only reason we college kids enroll in "study" abroad programs is so we can vacation in Europe and convince our parents to cover all the expenses. Well, to those skeptics I say: Mom and Dad, I discovered a great new program that has far more educational value. It's located in Somalia, and I get to study first-hand the troop movements of Ethiopian militia, learning about the geopolitical implications of Islamic insurgency -- what? Too dangerous? OK, I'll stick to France, if you insist.
Dan's column runs weekly on Wednesdays. He can be reached at dooley@cavalierdaily.com.
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