College life is expensive. Well, OK -- it doesn't have to be pricey, if you currently reside in a sub-letted Clemons cubicle, as I do. It's no secret that the University is very adept at making sure that by graduation I will have no money. Out-of-state tuition, books, meal plans and my lifetime subscription to Cat Fancy magazine have made me considerably poorer over the course of four years.
Where does all that money go? Much to my shock, almost all the money I give to our dear alma mater goes to good causes. It goes to building and scholarship funds as well as professor and staff salaries. By my calculations, I only give Al Groh $193.33 every year.
Note to self: Begin stealing from Al Groh.
If the current Capital Campaign is any indicator, the University will pull in some serious bank over the next few years. Thursday, Frank Batten Sr. (CLAS '50) donated $100 million to create a new school at the University devoted to leadership and public policy. I'm told that his previous request to create a School of Self-Indulgent Philanthropy to Keep Yourself in Newspaper Headlines was politely declined by University officials.
I kid, of course. Mr. Batten will go down as one of the most generous people in University history. Many kudos and thanks to him. There's a saying in fundraising: 80 percent of the money raised comes from 20 percent of the donors. Using that math, Mr. Batten accounts for about 11,000 people. Either he weighs 117,000 pounds, or he's just a good guy with a good heart.
The Capital Campaign isn't the only fund sapping away at our retirement money, either. Student groups, CIOs and charities ask for donations each and every day. Other columnists might bad-mouth charitable student groups, like Pancakes for Parkinson's. I won't do it. I believe we're in a golden age of great new CIOs.
"Bike to Uganda," for example -- fantastic idea. Everybody wants to be nice and everybody wants to get in shape. Combining the two is brilliant. Plus, you can finally prove to your friends that you indeed are capable of riding a bike. Or, at least that you know how to stay on one without falling off. It's a shame that it took so long for the BTU organizers to really get their act together. Their earlier fundraisers weren't very successful -- for some reason, "Razr Scooter to Scranton" and "Segway Human Transport to Azerbaijan" just never made it big.
There are tried-and-true methods of getting money from tightwad students. Organizing a 5K race, for instance, works quite well. My club sport has a 5K each fall, and it brings in some good money. Sports fundraisers on the Lawn, like bocce and croquet, are also fun and easy. What certainly doesn't work is stealing people's wallets. Not only does that get you expelled and disowned by your parents, but also incarcerated. Thank goodness Mr. Batten was there to bail me out.
I mean ... my cousin. Not me. That didn't happen to me.
Long story short -- charitable CIOs are a very good thing. So is giving to the University. Mr. Batten set a nice example for other fantastically wealthy alumni to dig deep and put a lousy few hundred million dollars to good use; however, even us lowly non-billionaires can give what we can. Cynics might say, "It's our money; we can do with it what we want." True, but wouldn't you rather see that $20 you were going to spend on Natty Ice go toward building a school in sub-Saharan Africa? Or a new School for Public Policy here on Grounds? Or even to fix the door leaving Newcomb Dining Hall that's been broken for 15 years?
Some things just deserve our attention and support. Dig deep and give to something you care about. You'll thank yourself down the road. For me, few things are more deserving than the University. Except Cat Fancy, of course.
Brendan's column runs biweekly on Mondays. He can be reached at collins@cavalierdaily.com.
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