IN TODAY'S world, being an activist for queer rights means you have to settle. It's a constant struggle between holding out for what's right versus achieving the politically attainable. It's full of baby steps and it's full of (frequent) disappointments. The "Gay? Fine by Me" t-shirt campaign, a great activity for straight allies, embodies all of these things.
The LGBT Resource Center is bringing back the "Gay? Fine by Me" shirts for a second year, upping its size (from 1000 to 2500 total shirts here) and scale (the event will happen simultaneously across at least eight Virginia schools). However, opinions within the LGBT community here at the University differ regarding the shirt's appropriateness. Is the message strong enough? Does the shirt include all members of the LGBT community? Could the allied community do more? Frankly, no, no and yes.
I don't want people's casual acceptance; "Fine by Me" implies a passive sense of permission. I want shirts that say "Queer People Rock!" I want shirts that say "Domestic Partner Benefits Now!" I want shirts that say "Gay is not a synonym for stupid!" Would the University community even support wearing these shirts? What does that say about us?
Furthermore, the LGBT community is comprised of four groups of people, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, that have banded together to achieve political gains. I can't go into the detailed history of the LGBT community with the space I have, but its central tenet is inclusiveness. Inclusiveness of all of our struggles, sometimes regardless of divergence, should be the heart of our community. Inclusiveness of our lives in mainstream America is our goal. But, would the University community understand a shirt that said "Queer? Fine by Me"? Or one that said "LGBT? Fine by Me"? What does that say about our education about the queer community?
Also, I fear that "Gay? Fine by Me" could actually prevent further allied action for LGBT rights. It's such an easy way to support the gay community when 2,499 other students are doing it with you. Many will think that wearing their shirt implies that they are fully educated and supportive of gay rights, precluding further activity. This shirt is not educational; it merely provides a statement.
At this point, I've rambled on enough about the shirt's short-comings. Nonetheless, I will be taking part in the day's activities. Twenty-five hundred people in solidarity will go a long way to changing the atmosphere here at the University for gay people. Twenty-five hundred people and seven other schools is an undeniable, positive step toward LGBT inclusion, despite its flaws. I can't take away from the sheer power of such a statement by chastising its participants. I don't want to compromise people's good will by saying it is inadequate. I can, however, ask the allied community to step it up.
Please don't stop at the shirt. The shirts all come with a pamphlet full of information about the community. Please read it; it is a vital part of the campaign. Go on Google or Wikipedia and look up LGBT rights. A five minute read could inform you so much of our struggle.
Take part in the Day of Silence this Wednesday. You can even use the shirt to further your allied activism. Wear the shirt in a few weeks; wear it around town; wear it when you go home this summer. See how you feel when you get stares, like when I hold another man's hand. See how your "radical" point of view is dismissed in class, like when my statements are written off as the gay kid's. See if you're called "faggot" or "gay" -- a weekly occurrence for me and my friends.
I'll be wearing my "Gay? Fine by Me" shirt this year. It's become a little faded since last year but the message is still the same -- flawed in its message but beautiful in its intent. Join me when I wear it but, please, work with me after, too. When I can walk down Rugby Road safely, when I can legally get married, when I give blood, then the actuality of the shirt will be realized. And that's fine by me.
Blake Wilding is a fourth-year student in the College of Arts and Sciences.
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