It started out with whispers during classes Monday morning as the story about Virginia Tech broke on the Internet. By the afternoon, students all around Grounds were spreading the latest news, inquiring whether their Hokie friends were safe and reassuring other University students.
According to Dr. Russ Federman, director of Counseling and Psychological Services at Student Health, this type of reaction is to be expected.
Federman said there are two different types of people dealing with Monday's shootings: those who had a friend, family member or loved one killed or wounded and those who were not directly affected by the deadly shooting but are "feeling like life as we know is temporarily turned upside down."
According to Federman, networks of family and friends can provide the best support during this difficult time.
He recommended that those students shaken and upset by the event "speak with friends, roommates, loved ones, whoever constitutes ... a close circle of people. Most people don't need professional help right now. Most people right now need to simply turn to sources of support already there for them."
For students who prefer a "more structured and safe setting" in which they cam discuss their feelings, Federman said CAPS will be offering drop-in group sessions Thursday from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. in the Newcomb Hall Ballroom; CAPS will also offer sessions Friday from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. in Cabell 247.
While students can set up private CAPS appointments through Student Health, Federman said many students in need of professional help will not realize it immediately.
"When [students] recognize most of [their] peers [are] indeed moving on, and for whatever they're feeling stuck, that's when they seek help," Federman said, adding that many students might not look to professional help until "a week, 10 days, two weeks" after the tragedy.
First-year College student Monique Perry, who said two students from her high school were killed Monday, has been talking with her friends and resident advisor to cope and said she would not hesitate to seek counseling if she feels she is still affected in the long run.
Talking to others directly involved in the tragedy has helped fourth-year College student Chase Collins, who said his girlfriend lives in Tech's East Ambler Johnson Dormitory, adjacent to West Ambler Johnson Dormitory, where the first shooting incident resulted in two fatalities.
In "trying to comfort her, I've been able to reason my own feelings out," Collins said.
Federman advised students who are offering comfort to others to keep in mind how they themselves would like to be comforted.
"We feel inadequate because we can't take those feelings away," Federman said. We want "to alleviate suffering, but we can't ... We're not going to find friends and others that have magic to make those feelings go away. The challenge is ... how do we support them through having painful feelings?"
CAPS Assistant Director Lenny Carter cautioned students against forcing help upon friends, since some people who are grieving may want to be left alone or would prefer not to talk about their losses.
"Everybody needs something different," Carter said. "Look for what that person does need, and follow that lead."
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