Monday was an important day for me. At this point, life isn't really full of many new beginnings, so I live vicariously through sports.
For at least one day, there are a few more baseball hats, t-shirts and jerseys donned around Grounds. On my way to class, I walked with a few Cubs fans who said it was definitely their year. In between classes, I talked to a Mets fan who claimed vehemently, "We've got all the pieces in place this season." When I got back from class, Red Sox fans had gathered at my house to watch their team's opener against the Royals.
Watching all these fans soak up a new beginning brought me back to my annual opening day debate.
Unfortunately, every opening day for the last few years, I have been lost as a baseball fan. I can't seem to figure out who my team is anymore.
Growing up, I was an Orioles fan. No question about it. I remember exactly where I sat at Memorial Stadium for my first game. On school nights in elementary school, I used to hide a portable radio under my pillow to listen to the dulcet tones of Jon Miller and catch the game until I fell asleep. When my mom would come in to say goodnight, often hours after I had been sent to bed (especially if the game was being played on the West Coast), I pretended that I was asleep so that she wouldn't know what I had been doing.
I also, however, was the kid who made my parents put "Play Ball in VA" bumper stickers on their cars. I desperately wanted a team nearer to my house in Northern Virginia. Rumors of a stadium near Dulles Airport spurred dreams of spending my summers working at the ballpark.
Even after Cal was gone and Peter Angelos started to force the organization down the toilet, I rooted for the O's.
Then a new squad rolled into town. Sure, the Nationals played in the dated confines of RFK Stadium, but they were just 30 minutes from my house, as opposed to the two and a half hours it normally took to get to Baltimore for a night game.
Pretty soon, my parents had season tickets and I was seeing the Nats five times for every time I went to watch the O's. Despite friends' claims that I was a traitor, I went downtown and rooted for the young Nationals at the beginning of their life in Washington.
This Monday, I woke up, and without really thinking, put on a Nationals t-shirt. During the afternoon, a guy in a jersey saidit was a "tough day for us" after the Nats had fallen to the Marlins, 9-2.
When I came back home, I geared up to watch the Orioles and the Twins at 7 p.m. on ESPN2. At game time, however, the broadcast was nowhere to be found. ESPN2 was showing ESPN News. Comcast had gone with "Big League Bloopers" or something like that.
I called a friend of mine to complain about the situation. He said that it "served me right" because I had "become a Nationals fan." It was then that I realized that I have been living a double life. In some ways, I'm a fraud. As I scrolled through the channels in search of the game, I slowly looked down and saw that I was still wearing my Nationals shirt.
Several hours later, I was still annoyed at myself. opening day was my opportunity to settle the debate. But instead, I battled the spins and stared at my ceiling in shame with one foot on the floor.
My first inclination was to blame Peter Angelos for driving the Orioles into the ground. But we all know that if you are a real fan, wins have nothing to do with your love for a team.
And for that, I'm embarrassed. In the last few years, I have gotten too caught up in the old cliché, "root, root, root for the home team." As a result, I still can't decide exactly where my allegiances lie. It's a debate between my past and the fleeting present.
How could it have come to this?
I've lied through my teeth over the last few years telling myself that I had a team in each league. Any self-respecting fan knows that you can embrace just one team as your own.
Which team is that? Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure.
This year, I'm finally going to figure this one out. Over the next seven months, I'll be taking a close look inside myself to find out exactly who my team is. Next opening day will really be a new beginning -- a chance to affirm my commitment to the Nationals or the Orioles, come clean with myself and finally close out these last few years of two-faced fandom.
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