As a new school year begins, it's easy for upperclassmen at the University to pick on incoming first-year students for their bright-eyed optimism, ability to get lost regardless of where they are or where they're going and, most importantly, their ever-so-obvious desperation to make friends. But that's not what this column stands for; making fun of 17-year-olds is not good enough for my column, at least not in the first week. (Hint: That means read my next column.)
Instead of ridiculing the new kids, we're going to take a look back at where they just came from: high school. On top of that, we're going to compare our high school lives to our lives now, because no one wants or needs to read an article centered solely on how much it sucked to be in high school.
First, I have to get one thing out of my system:
Woo! No parents!
In high school, your parents watched everything you did. They told you when you could go out and when you had to be home. Lame.
In college, you do whatever you want, whenever you want. Sure, you might get alcohol poisoning every once in a while, but I've said it before and I'll say it again: Getting your stomach pumped adds character.
Note: The Cavalier Daily does not condone underage drinking, binge drinking or any other unsafe drinking practices. Please drink responsibly.
Student Publications
High school: No one read the school paper, mostly because it was overseen by school administrators and the hardest-hitting stories were usually about prom themes. Cupid's Ball or Underwater Paradise?
College: At the University, most people at least pick up a copy of either The Cavalier Daily or The Declaration. This paper is independent from the University and thus cannot be censored. Still, though, you can't joke about alcohol poisoning and expect to get away with it.
Food/Drinks/Gum
High school: Let's sum it up in three sentences: Do you have enough for the whole class? Put that away before you spill it.
Spit it out.
College: You can eat, drink and chew as much as you want ... just don't spill anything. Yup, the professors trust you so much that they even think you can chew gum without sticking it on the bottom of a desk. If that's not adult responsibility, I don't know what is.
Bad Words
High school: For starters, people still called them bad words. Some teachers would be cool and overlook them, but others would try to give you detention for dropping an A-bomb.
College: You may curse to your heart's content, unless you write for the paper. Shucks. Darn this all to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
I could go on forever comparing high school to college, but you get the point: High school sucks and college rules.
The trouble is that people come to college looking for a second chance, a chance to change who they are and forget who they were in high school. That's why you can never trust anyone when you ask what he or she was like in high school.
For example, if someone tells you he was "independently popular" in high school, that really means he had no friends. If someone says the was "on the football team" but doesn't immediately jump into telling cool, "Friday Night Lights"-worthy stories, he was probably something like the seveZQnth-string wide receiver.
And the list goes on. If you want a comprehensive list, I'm sure there's a Facebook group somewhere that was written by someone much more dedicated than I am -- most likely one of those first-year students desperate to make new friends.
The point is, don't try to hide who you were from your friends. This goes for everyone at the University, not just first-year students. Chances are, all of your embarrassing high school moments will turn into great inside jokes later. Trust me on this one. After all, it was my great insight that made me independently popular in high school.
Ed's column runs biweekly on Thursdays. He can be reached at edcao@cavalierdaily.com.
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