The world of dating is very much an environment of uncertainty for the young college male and is made even more mind boggling by the hazy feedback that most girls give in response to basic preferences in courting rituals. Due to our University's ever-present infatuation with cold hard percentages, however, I felt it was time for guys to finally get a real look at exactly what their female counterparts are looking for. Thus, I have completed a thorough survey that yielded some quite conclusive, and at times surprising, answers to the questions that have plagued men for centuries, and here's the breakdown for all of my fellow XYs out there.
First, 100 percent of women polled asserted that they do indeed prefer men who are not balding. Though there was a time when I thought the Hunter S. Thompson look was ready for a breakthrough, the fad seems to have passed.
One hundred percent also said they preferred men who brush their teeth, as well as those who remember their dates' names. Though both of these are fairly large challenges, I feel that the survey was conclusive enough to at least warrant an effort by males everywhere, if not in both categories, then at least in one.
To round out the most conclusive assertions is the fact that all women polled believe that accents are sexy. What does this mean for the average Joe? Fake an accent or go abroad. Since faking an accent may lead to a fairly large foundation of lies with which you will have to keep track of, I suggest doing a little world travel.
Focusing on a more shocking turn of events, it appears that flowers are no longer the much-appreciated tokens of love that they once were, with only 40 percent of women reporting that they like receiving them. With this cruel fact comes the realization that there is now a gap in the gift-giving cycle, which anyone can tell you revolves around rotating jewelry, chocolates, flowers and a thoughtful gift through the four major holidays of a relationship (birthday, Valentine's Day, anniversary, Christmas). What gift will step up to fill flowers -- shoes? Only time will tell, but my money is on Bratz dolls.
It seems also that times have changed for what constitutes "the Look" for men. In what I believe to be a revolution for the better, 80 percent of women polled stated that they were not attracted to men who wear Birkenstocks. My only question: What took so long?
Also, only 20 percent of women said they preferred clean-shaven men. Though this is a problem easily remedied for most men, there are some of us out there who are still unable to grow what most would call peach fuzz. Such is the plight of the baby-faced male, and all I can say is that these are troubled times indeed.
Finally, only 60 percent of women believe that Zac Efron is hot. Though I believe that the other 40 percent must be lying to themselves, this still presents an interesting dilemma for men everywhere. I, personally, have been basing my demeanor and look off Zac Efron for no less than two years, and the prospect of changing my image is disheartening, as I'm sure it is for the majority of men out there. But just like Dylan said, "Times, they are a-changin'."
Though this survey was completed using the 2-10 method (a manner of polling popularized by Fox News and CNN in which no less than two and no more than 10 people are polled), I feel that the five young ladies who filled out the survey have given men everywhere a statistical look into the mind of the young college female. No longer will we sit at home, wondering whether to dust off that old toothbrush in the closet or slip on the emasculating atrocities that are Birkenstocks. And, maybe with a sigh of nostalgia for better days gone by, we'll put away our "High School Musical" outfits to search for a new and better look -- if that's possible.
Maybe many of you already knew the lowdown on these matters and have acted accordingly to stay in the game. What you may not have known is that 100 percent of girls polled said they would give a guy they weren't attracted to the benefit of a first date. What that says to me is that no matter your style of dress or hygiene or ability to grow facial hair, girls are still just looking for a good man. And, in my book, that gives most of us a fighting chance.
Andy's column runs biweekly Monday. He can be reached at taylor@cavalierdaily.com.
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