So, it's that time of year once again. The lovely autumn season hosts brisk air, brilliant leaves and the best holidays. (This is because they entail feasting and are a way to "pre-game" for the winter holiday season.) Of all the holidays, the most self-indulgent falls in the fall -- Halloween is really the only holiday when you buy things for yourself. Halloween is like picking your own role for the school play, enacting a fantasy you normally wouldn't confess, or living a dream you have always had; for one day, you can be someone or something else.
I grew up in Maine, and I can therefore spot other northerners on Halloween night by the fit of their costumes. Always accustomed to fitting our snow suits underneath our witch, Cleopatra and Batman costumes, we northerners tend to wear our costumes on the larger side so as to face the arctic temperatures of late October.
On the topic of arctic, last year one of my friends dressed up as a snowman. I am pretty sure that she was the only person, besides that rogue eight-year-old who made it into the party, who was wearing a non-plunging neckline. Actually, many costumes I saw lacked necklines completely. They also lacked creativity. Ladies, try to think of something new.
The "sexy nurse," "sexy Snow White" and even the "sexy bumblebee" get old after a while, and you must be sick of running into at least 10 others with the same costume. I present you with a challenge for this Halloween: Try going as a "sexy Mother Theresa," or something a little more difficult to pull off. Or, you should go as Eve -- you can just skip all of those formal steps of pretending you are going to keep your clothes on, cut to the chase and save money on a costume. Actually, don't do that ... you might get arrested.
On the male side of Halloween, there should be more "sexy cowboys" in assless chaps and "sexy male nurses" in see-through scrubs walking around. No more full Power Ranger or Spiderman suits. You should even the playing field, be fair and show more flesh.
Now, back to PG related comments... Do you know what else fall means? It means your life is in danger whenever you walk under the trees on McCormick Road. Those acorns drop like bullets.
This fall it seems like romance is in the air more than usual. I had the pleasure of witnessing a particularly interesting interlude the other day. I was sitting in the Starbucks at the Corner, not minding my own business, and listening joyously to a first date. The two happy people started out on the right foot, and I was rooting for the relationship to progress into marriage and babies, until the conversation took an unexpected turn:
Girl: "So, what is your favorite class?"
Boy: "Econ 201. What about you?"
Girl: "Wow, I really wanted that class, how did you get it?"
Boy: "Uh... the COD."
Girl: "Wait, you aren't a TA?"
And that was the moment that he, she and I realized that this young first-year boy had indeed asked out a grad student. Needless to say, listening to the rest of the date conclude quickly and awkwardly was a pleasure.
Back to fall. I spent my last Thanksgiving in Southern California and noticed an interesting phenomenon -- the Californians stole all of our colors and decorations! Palm fronds don't turn orange and fall to the ground, and the air only gets less smoggy, not cooler. So why do Southern Californians decorate with leaf cut-outs and corn husks? It is because the East Coast is enviable in the fall season -- so enjoy it!
Basically, fall is the best season. If you don't believe me, try enjoying life without hooker-ish Halloween costumes, family Thanksgiving gatherings, cool air, impertinent squirrels and dangerous acorns.
Maggie's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at mjones@cavalierdaily.com.
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