The first date, for many, can mean the difference between fireworks and the fate of a Thanksgiving turkey, between true love's first kiss and getting shot down by last semester's TA, between deodorant and Vaseline. If the analogies weren't enough, the point I'm getting at is that the first date is really important.
The problem is, though, that you've got nothing to go by. It is, after all, the first time you've gone out with the person. So what's a guy to do when he's groping in the dark for the key to a woman's heart? Luckily, I am here to give you five easy and surefire steps to instant success on a first date.
5. Try not to insult any major aspects of your date's ideology. If she's a vegan, don't take her to a steakhouse. If she's really conservative, don't take her to a strip club. If she wants to have a fun and exciting time, don't take to her to a Jeff Society meeting. Taking your date into an environment where she is comfortable is half of the battle, and I'd like to think it's like the class participation portion of making a first impression. So, be tactful in planning when and where the date will transpire.
4. Play to your strengths. If the only dancing skill you know is how to "Crank dat Soulja Boy," and you learned that from the YouTube video, you may not want to go to a dance club. On the other hand, if you're really good at bowling, feel free to take her to the lanes and show off your skill. With any luck, not only will she be impressed, but she'll also want you to teach her some of your technique. And, if nothing else, you'll have fun doing something that you already knew you'd enjoy, no matter how well (or how poorly) the date is going.
3. Do not, and I repeat, do not become overly polite during the date. Though chivalry was at one time considered the ultimate aphrodisiac, girls often think that guys who try too hard are desperate. This is not to say you shouldn't be courteous and respectful, but try not to revert back to Old English and refrain from commenting on how attractive she is more than twice. There's a fine line between jerk and desperado and I hope that in time, you will be able to walk it.
2. Avoid trying to incorporate any slang that you are not accustomed to using into the conversation. She will not think that you are cool when you call the waitress over by yelling, "Ay baybay, let me get some more water, skeet skeet." Stick to what you know and work with it.
1. Take a shower. To be honest, there are those days and weeks when I just forget to bathe, and I'm sure the story is true for most guys. The only difference is, I'm really, really good-looking, and thus don't need to smell good. But for most guys, especially those reading this article, a good scent is the most important aspect to making a girl think you are worth her time. Therefore, never doubt the effect a good shower or bath can have on your first date, and be sure to incorporate it into every budding relationship you encounter.
Making the first date special and memorable is a complicated affair, and I don't pretend to have the ability to teach you how to achieve such an accomplishment. I can, however, ensure that if you follow these five easy steps, there is an 86 percent chance you will not get slapped. So, if nothing else, this guide will show you how to break even, and that, my friends, is an achievement in itself.
Andy's column runs biweekly Friday. He can be reached at taylor@cavalierdaily.com.
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