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The most wonderful time of the year

Some say Kwanzaa; some choose Easter; but for me, the best holiday will always be Halloween. One of the things I may miss the most about college is that I probably won't be able to celebrate Halloween for nearly two weeks next year. That is, unless I become a Wiccan or something.

Now I don't want to go into this too much as I wrote about it last year around this time; however, I feel a public service announcement is in order for first-years. Although you may not have dressed up past the age of 11 in high school, people do dress up here, and it is a little bit different from your eight-year-old pumpkin costume. You can dress up as virtually anything you want, but especially for girls, you're going to stand out if it's not at least a little slutty. The trick here is to be creative. So you don't want to dress up as a Playboy bunny or a French maid? That's totally fine. You can show some skin in virtually any costume with an implied 'slutty' before whatever you choose.

For example, you could easily be a 'slutty banana.' Just buy a kid's banana costume and that way it will be super short, like a minidress. If you want to add yellow fishnets, by all means. Nothing adds class better. Some options, however, are a little trickier. For example, a slutty GW? This may seem impossible. One way, however, is to wear a Bush mask and your underwear, although I warn that this could cause nightmares for everyone around you.

This completely goes for guys too. Notice how many boys are pumping iron in the AFC these days? My theory is that they're just waiting for the chance to show off their abs in a Tarzan/Adam/Lance Bass costume. Well maybe not Lance Bass.

So, to commemorate my last Halloween at the University, I've been thinking long and hard about what I'm going to be. This will preferably be multiple things, because I don't know the next time I will get to go to several costume parties for Halloween week, and this brings a tear to my eye. I'm not going to give out my top option right now because I don't want anyone stealing it, and I'm sick of seeing Yankees wearing cowboy boots out. But that's beside the point. For your ease, though, and because I get a kick out of seeing amusing costumes, I'm going to categorize some excellent options. Feel free to go crazy.

Food Groups: Bananas are standard, but the Fruit of the Loom commercials have taught you nothing if you don't realize that virtually any fruit or vegetable can be a costume. I, for one, would like to see a good artichoke or pomegranate, but I may be alone on that one.

Fairy creatures: Fairies and princesses are an easy costume to come up with on the fly -- just add a tiara and wings or maybe a tutu to whatever you have, and you're good. But if you want to go a little bit beyond that, how about a Keebler elf or one of the Three Little Pigs? I love those guys.

Animals: Lions are always amusing because if you get some sort of hairy thing to go around your head you can just wear yellow and roar a lot. In fact any animal that has a well-known sound is good, because that way even if your costume is terrible and people keep asking you what you are, you can just make the noise in response. Plus, all you really have to do is pick one color and stick to it, or maybe wear some ears or get into the animal prints (which are very in this season anyway, so it can definitely be an investment piece).

Famous people: I know some chick is going to make herself look all crazy and dirty and not wear underwear and be Britney Spears. That's fine, but I really think we can go beyond that. What about Zac Efron or Scott Baio or Larry Sabato?

Well, I hope you've been inspired. And I better see at least one slutty Mitt Romney, or I'm going to be seriously depressed.

Alex's column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at jospin@cavalierdaily.com.

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