It was a worst-case scenario. The Sudoku was far easier than anticipated for the mid-week, leaving me with a solid 40 minutes of remaining class time. All other diversionary options were not viable: The hundreds of crumpled word and number puzzles buried in my backpack were partially done, rendering them significantly less fun; it was 10 a.m., and my circadian rhythm was on a high, thwarting the subtle nap option; I was in an overly visible position to be able to play games on my cell phone; even the Fibonacci sequence I had started in early September had become too large (40-something digits) to fit on one line, and, come on -- Fibonacci sequence, what was I thinking?
I would have to try and pay attention.
But seriously, even before we got to the University, the term "lecture" had an undeniably negative connotation. Being talked at for a long, continuous period of time for something you did wrong (and presently, the thing we did wrong was not knowing stuff, which is why we're at school) is a collective childhood memory, also referred to as a stern talking-to.
Besides, this stuff can be boring. I'm not talking content-wise boring; most people don't sign up for classes dealing with topics they know they'll be bored by (although with area requirements and stuff, I know that's just completely not true, but anyway). It's just that ... How can I put this? People don't talk about one topic for 50 minutes straight, unless they're maybe doing it for money, or their life is on the line or something.
Which is why there ought to be alternatives. To paying attention, that is. Sure, notes are important, but if you're writing down every word you can that comes out of that professor's mouth, it's wasting your valuable energy, and you know it. Some neat choices to pass the time:
Write a story: Your professor is out there explaining something to you, and even if you find it boring, you're paying for it, so transform that information into something beautiful. Keep that pen moving, but instead of notes, get creative! The setting can be the Baroque Era, the New York Stock Exchange, a hyperbolic plane, a taiga biome or a planet orbiting Arcturus, the third-brightest star in the night sky. That boring guy or government or someone who did something important whom you're going to have to write a short essay about on the final, there's your main character. How would they respond to heartbreak, the threat of a terrorist attack in their hometown or the horrors of puberty? A nice variation is imagining the artist whose work you are meticulously studying waking up and telling you that they were either high or bored when they did that piece whose sociopolitical commentary you're currently analyzing.
Then there's the doodle. Everyone has drawings in their notebooks -- if you don't, 15 to 1 that you're part- or mostly-robot. Take it to the max! If you drew a cool-looking thingie the other day when you should have been learning a new concept or analyzing a text, do a more detailed version, give it a back story and sell the concept for a comic book character, Halloween costume or video game. Otherwise, impressing -- or more likely terrifying -- your friends by drawing it on all their stuff is an acceptable alternative.
If your creative bone isn't feeling particularly inspired, there's always the lyrical route. It's nothing to write home about, but it sure passes the time. I've found that something like "Born to Run" is born to run the time out of a 50-minute lecture, plus a few minutes for rudimentary notes, just to prove you were there. If you're in for the long haul, "Bat Out of Hell" will do the trick, taking just slightly less time than that 75-minute session. You could write out the words to non-classic rock songs, but it's just not as awesome.
Some ask what the point of going to class is if one is that determined to keep from actually having to pay attention. It's those rare moments when the lecturer says, "You might want to write this point down, because it's likely that it will show up on the test ... hint hint" (scattered laughter from students). No matter how engrossed I might be in distracting activity, my ears perk up, and I scribble down whatever that little something-something might be. It's those moments that set me apart from those smug chumps who brag that they can ace the class without ever attending a lecture. Whoops! Did I say me? I meant him. He. They. Bye.
Erik's column runs biweekly Thursdays. He can be reached at silk@cavalierdaily.com.
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