"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Ferris makes an excellent point. Drugs, sex, lies and reality TV aren't the only things that catalyze our lives. In many cases we are to blame. We are addicted to competition and the fear of being left behind. Our motto has become, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." In the rush to the top, even winning has become an instrumental end only to better our position for the next competition. It's a vicious cycle, and the worst part is there is no one with whom to share the victory.
It's not our fault for starting the game. For that I blame nature -- and the 1980s. Biologists will tell you that "fight or flight" is programed into our brains. The only problem is there is no place else to flee. The competition has spread to the point where you either stand your ground or get hit in the face by a flat world. As children of the '80s, we got caught by the yuppie wave and tossed into the scrum.
From birth it has been a race to see who could talk first, then walk, then domineer the playground. By the time we could read, it was all about grades and youth sports. School leads to the marketplace and who can get the best job, make the most money, buy the best car or house. After competing to have the best midlife crisis, it's all about who can retire first, and then live the longest. I bet there is even pushing and shoving in line at the Pearly Gates.
Far and away the greatest fix for our addiction is in college, during the prime of our lives when we are most fit for the fight. We compete to get here with SATs, GPAs, IBs and APs, only to realize that is simply a test to see if we're capable of competing with the big boys. We compete to see who can bring down ISIS the fastest while trying to beat everyone to the best classes. Then we try and outdo each other by seeing who can complain the most about his schedule. I'll give the Comm School kids a break since they have beaten themselves up enough recently.
Even when we are trying to relax and blow off steam we can't help ourselves. We compete to see who can wait the longest before a basketball game actually starts. Drinking games provide simply another avenue to expand the game. You would think this behavior would predominate among guys hopped up on testosterone. But in many cases girls are far worse. I bet you can't find a more competitive event than sorority rush. (Damn, you probably will and beat me at my own mind games.) Social competition was intense enough when it was confined to normal three-dimensional space but when it spread to cyberspace it really got out of hand. I speak, of course, of Facebook and the race to build the largest social circle. Competition is stiff as people try to inflate their digital selves.
As if grades and socializing weren't enough to get us off, there's the realm of extracurriculars to plunge into. Rare is the group that you just show up and join -- almost all require some application or test. Remember these groups are supposed to be for helping other people, not for getting our own competitive high and proving our self worth. One sincere person's desire to do something only creates demand and escalates the game. Unfortunately, the game has become about the next move and filling the next line on the resume. One person's compassion and vision has turned into everyone else's ambition and pursuit of self-interest. Competition has been boiled down to an attention-seeking activity to prove the self-worth of the competitors. If they wins, they pass on to the next game, and if they lose, they are doomed to repeat the cycle. We seem to take an almost masochistic pleasure from the simplicity and finality of the game -- black or white, win or lose. It simplifies life.
If life is a game we should take a time out and enjoy the game before the game ends.
John's column runs biweekly Fridays. He can be reached at gregory@cavalierdaily.com.
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