FOR A POLITICIAN in America, there is no quicker way to fall from grace than by cheating on his wife. Even better if the scandal involves a hooker from a prostitution ring called the "Emperor's Club VIP." The juiciest of scandals, of course, is when the "other woman" turns out to be a man, as in the case of New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey.
The most interesting role played in these scandals is that of the scorned wife. The contrite speech, wife by the side, has become a tradition in American politics. Perhaps this sort of political theatre says a lot more about the audience that revels in it than the unhappy couple it involves.
The whole confessional speech, wife by the side, is little more than smoke and mirrors for what is actually going on. The strange thing is, every rational person should realize this. The woman with the highest capacity for forgiveness would never be ready to stand next to her cheating husband immediately after she found out, which was the case for the wives of for ex-governor Eliot Spitzer and McGreevey. Former Gov. McGreevey literally told her right before he went on stage what he had done.
In a recent column for The New York Times, Dina McGreevey wrote, "For me, I was essentially in the dark about what my husband was going to say. He never told me he was gay; he simply passed me a copy of his speech an hour before the press conference. I was in a fog. I certainly didn't volunteer." The image, then, of the woman steadfastly standing next to her contrite husband is a complete farce. The woman has little time to process what happened, much less forgive.
Why then, do Americans expect the wife to stand next to her husband in these theatrical confessions? If it cannot possibly be concern about forgiveness, then it simply must be a case of base voyeurism to see how the scorned wives will respond. Americans want to see how these famous women react, even though there is little variation. It's always the same deadened, stoic, "I'd rather be downing gin and tonics and talking to my divorce attorney rather than standing here" look. If there was a case of the wife suddenly slapping her husband, or breaking down, it would actually be somewhat worthwhile to watch the confessionals.
The fact of the matter is that Americans expect the wives to stand next to their husbands. Wives surely would not do it if their husbands' political consultants told them not to. Clearly this is the case, when many women, as in the case of Ms. McGreevey, soon file divorce papers. But other women, such as Hillary Clinton, stay married, which would seem to please the same Americans.
And yet we soon criticized her, too. Many people, especially women, actually claim the reason they are not voting for her in the primaries is that they just cannot fathom how she stayed married to Bill Clinton after he cheated on her so many times. Not only must these women salvage their personal lives, they must walk an impossible path in the media spotlight.
Of course, a case of schadenfreude is most apparent when the hooker is part of a prostitution ring called "Emperors Club VIP." It is hard to feel sympathy for a politician who pays thousands of dollars an hour for an escort that is ranked on a scale of three to seven diamonds. The pain and embarrassment of the wife, by extension, seems less real because it is difficult for the average American to identify. Although every married couple fears the adultery of a spouse, there seems to be a significant reactionary difference if the mistress is an intern or an expensive escort, rather than a neighbor or the mother of the child your own kid goes to school with.
Perhaps Americans like seeing the powerful and famous exposed for their vices as a symbol of their common humanity when the cameras are off?. By reveling in these scandals, though, the media and American population at large lose their own decency. Americans seem to have one of the most convoluted, illogical moral codes, expecting wives to stand by their men, and then condemning them when they do. I say, let the philanderer stand by himself. There's really only room for one on the scaffold.?
Marta Cook's column appears Tuesdays in The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at mcook@cavalierdaily.com.
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