I'm sure it must have sounded like a great idea -- high school comedy based on a concept by the golden god of '80s teen comedies, John Hughes, written by Seth Rogen, produced by Judd Apatow and starring Owen Wilson. The executives probably thought to themselves, "Drillbit Taylor will be like Superbad, only with less cursing and younger actors! And we can get that blond fellow with the broken nose to be in it! He's quite popular, isn't he?"
Unfortunately, he's not popular enough. Despite the involvement of Apatow and Rogen, the magic from their previous successes doesn't rub off on this predictable, joyless film. The eternal struggle between nerds and bullies may be funny, but Drillbit Taylor is not.
Things don't go very well on the first day of high school for Wade (Nate Hartley) and Ryan (Troy Gentile). After stepping up to save Emmit the über-dork (David Dorfman), Wade and Ryan become the new whipping boys for the evil bullies, Filkins (Alex Frost) and Ronnie (Josh Peck). In a last-ditch effort to save themselves from the wrath of the violent teens, the boys hire Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) to be their bodyguard and to teach them to stand up to the jerks. What they don't know is that Drillbit is a homeless army deserter and sometimes-con man. Drillbit must decide between betraying the kids who have become his friends and achieving his dream of owning land in Canada.
The plot of Drillbit Taylor is both implausible and utterly predictable. Conflicts and their solutions can be seen coming from a mile away. The film takes place in a world where adults are completely oblivious, idiotic and useless. Wade and his friends try to get help from their parents and the school administration, but they are merely dismissed as liars or whiny babies. They have no choice but to turn to the morally questionable bum Drillbit, who is no more mature or intelligent than they are.
The adults are the greatest weakness of the film. The young leads are well-cast and they are generally quite funny. Whether they are being stuffed into lockers or trying to hit on girls, they bring considerable charm and affability to their characters. The same cannot be said for Wilson. The comedy veteran only scores laughs when he is playing off his young co-stars. Wilson always works better when part of a team (e.g. Wedding Crashers, Wes Anderson collaborations). He comes up short as the focus of a film, and Drillbit Taylor is worse off because of his involvement. Leslie Mann and Stephen Root play the English teacher and principal, respectively. Their characters are recycled versions of ones they've played before (the slutty headcase and the ignoramus in charge), but they play them well.
Despite all the familiar faces, Drillbit Taylor goes on for far too long. Scenes go on and on until every joke is crushed under its own weight. The running time for the film is only an hour and 40 minutes but it feels much longer.
Considering all the talented people involved in the making of this film, it should have been a lot better. If you're looking for a movie about dorky boys and the trials of high school, the makers of Drillbit Taylor already have made plenty of films you can find at your video store. 3
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