Dating in college is a big deal. Not the kind of big deal that involves corny T-shirts proclaiming some sort of importance for clubs, organizations, dorm rooms or what have you, but the kind of big deal that takes up boatloads of time and countless hours of trying to figure out where exactly you started from, where you are and, better yet, where in the world you are headed. Thanks to this fact, I currently have a job writing columns for all you lucky readers out there dying to know the latest scoop on Love 101.
One downside of this, however, is the tendency of the dating world to overlap into every facet of college life so there is no escaping it. I try to play an intramural sports game, and there is a girl on the other team who catches the Frisbee, throws it down and runs off the field crying and yelling that Frisbee was her favorite sport. In Arabic class, whenever the teacher asks us to use new grammar in a sentence, there are always at least two people who speak of their significant others using the relative pronoun and an English expletive or two. Even in "The Hills," the fashion world is being overshadowed by the inability of Lauren to see that Brody will never give her the attention she deserves and that she should devote herself to that computer class to better herself in the here and now.
All in all, dating might give me something to write about, but it also gives just about everyone I know an excuse to let me in on facts of their lives that I don't particularly care about, nor do I wish to hear during the NCAA National Championship game. Lock it up sister. Kansas is coming back.
One of the worst implications of this overabundance of dating power leads most people to believe it is always on the minds of all of their peers, and so it seems that they also must be ever vigilant. This leads to all kinds of misunderstandings between members of the Academical Village in which no one really knows when someone else is flirting with them or just trying to make a friend. Further, when someone mistakenly assumes it is the former, budding friendships are torn apart due to feelings of betrayal and foolishness, which only lead to more feelings of being on edge and even more overlap into other aspects of life.
So I've got an idea. From now on, the secret password for everyone to let everyone else know that they are flirting with them and would like some form of bond that is closer than friendship is "I don't smell anything, but my ears are cold." This is not a sentence that usually comes up in everyday dialogue, so I assume it will ring loud and clear when the time comes. Similarly, if you do not like someone in a romantic manner and would still like to hang out with them, we shall now all say, "I would very much like to be your friend."
Maybe you took those two phrases as a joke, and maybe they were. But right now, I think it would be really cool if someone smarter than me with some sort of degree in psychology came up with a really easy way of clearing up this hazy world of emotion. Until that time, however, this is the best we've got. Go get 'em, kids.
Andy's column runs biweekly Mondays. He can be reached at taylor@cavalierdaily.com.
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