Guilty pleasures are often dorky pleasures. Everyone can agree that watching "The O.C." is a guilty pleasure, but since Seth Cohen is so cute and funny, you can get away with it. Fewer people can get away with saying they watch old "Power Rangers" episodes in their spare time. I have many of these dorky pleasures, but rather than bare my soul to the world and suffer ridicule and harassment, I polled the lovely first-year residents of a certain building in New Dorms. Their names will remain anonymous, but know that these secret indulgences are real.
According to my poll, many people like dancing in their unmentionables and lip-syncing to 90s pop songs. Others like watching infomercials. Another girl really likes smelling books. I even had one resident tell me she likes looking up facts about books and movies online so she will sound like she knows about them when asked. Watch out for that girl -- apparently she is a lot less cool than she seems.
Tacky holiday sweaters were also prominent on the list of closet likes, especially the ones with the sewn on bells and pom-poms for snowmen. Knitting was also mentioned, but I don't think it really counts as dorky. Knitting has become one of those things that the "I'm so out there and don't even care that I'm so out there that I am actually cool after all" kids started doing, so now it is a hip hobby. People confess it as a dorky indulgence but really hope to impress people with their skill of hand.
In middle school, Leonardo DiCaprio was a guilty pleasure. All of the girls secretly had a crush on him, and all the boys secretly admired his courage upon the sinking of that giant ship, the Titanic. But until the boys stopped making fun of him for being wimpy (they were merely jealous of his charm and good looks), the girls could not stoop to like such a criticized guy. Although he has starred in several respectable flicks, such as "Blood Diamond" and "The Departed," he still has that rep. Poor guy. Well, I will risk humiliation and disparaging remarks and shout out to the world that I think Leo is a fine actor and good-looking to boot.
That was an interesting scattering of secret dorky pleasures. But what my residents don't know is that besides asking them what they indulged in secretly, I have also been watching. Opening my door a crack and peering out into the common room or listening to conversations when I was supposedly pasting fliers, I was able to peek into the real nerdy lives of these kids.
First of all, they say they like to dance to 90s pop music. Well, apparently Disney's own Miley Cyrus is also a good artist to listen to before going out. And besides books, I have been privy to some definite smelling of other things. I also found an assignment book color-coded and full of tabs for different subjects. I would accuse this of being too concerned about completing assignments -- which is the definition of the word dorky -- but this superfluously decorated book shows much more than dorkiness: It also shows true procrastination talent. Therefore, something dorky becomes something cool, because we all know that people who plan out how they are going to do their work are way less dorky than those who take that time to actually do work. Cough cough.
The point of all this? You are not alone. Break out that Power Rangers shirt. Talk openly about your love for infomercials. Bond over buying tacky holiday sweaters. Every person is a closet dork, and the sooner it comes out the better ... or you might find yourself the topic of a column about college students who still play with Magic cards.
Maggie's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at jones@cavalierdaily.com.
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