It's a bleak Sunday morning in Charlottesville, and I, Erik A. Silk, am a bit scared. Yeah. I'm not so much scared of not having a future, whether or not I should be. I'm scared of the epic amounts of time and thought I'm about to waste on these English papers. As an English major who's done maybe 35 percent of all reading assigned to him since 2005, it's taken me until fourth year to realize exactly how pointless of a human being I feel like whenever I analyze literature. One professor gave back a 12-page paper I worked really hard on, tearing it a new one on the basis that I needed to include more close reading. Close reading? Taking apart every bit of one or two sentences out of a play or novel to analyze it? How can one feel like they're accomplishing something if they spend hours examining and evaluating a phrase or two that took the author mere seconds to write?
I'm scared because people keep saying these will be the last moments of my life until retirement that are so carefree and fun-filled. These last moments are filled with stressing about a numerical average which could be drastically affected by a letter whose identity hinges on how much I over-read into this crap I've been assigned. Only one person will ever read those papers, so I think I'd rather spend this time dishing out my last set of rants, which in contrast will be read by several, or perhaps even a handful, of people. I'll just go down the line here.
-- The intersection at Alderman and McCormick really needs green arrows on the stoplights. I've literally waited 10 minutes to make a left turn because of all the stupid pedestrians and all the stupid cars going straight ahead.
-- Way too many songs rhyme "fire" and "desire." There really are other words with the same ending as those two -- you've just got to look a little bit.
-- The "anti-stalker" application on Facebook that can't actually do anything other than show you your name and picture? Having that makes me not want to be your friend.
-- Returning papers and tests at the end of class may seem like a good idea in theory, but it is in reality a stupid idea. Students just need 15 seconds to see their grade, and they worry about the remarks and comments later. Leaving that pile of papers on your desk while you deliver your boring lecture is just cruel, and my favorite teachers of the past 16 years have defied this foolish convention of teaching.
-- Devendra Banhart, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Jimi Hendrix may or may not be decent things, but they are certainly very much overrated. Just because something is ground-breaking doesn't necessarily mean it's good.
-- I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. for something the other Saturday, and I set my alarm clock. I did not wake up on time because apparently the default for setting the alarm on it sets it to p.m. rather than a.m. That does not make sense.
-- There are some offensively slow drivers in this town. If you want to take things slow, don't do it in a car.
-- The best teacher I ever had was in the first semester of my first year. The assigned readings were compelling and fun to read, the discussions were fast-moving and thought-provoking, and so, of course, the teacher was "fired" by the department after taking us on an awesome field trip to a tract of land (which we were told was owned by the University) with abandoned buildings from a forgotten era a few miles outside of town. Something like eight or nine cops with nothing better to do surrounded us, and some jerks called the U.Va. Foundation who were actually considering pressing charges on a group of students exploring some structures they were just going to tear down. My point is mostly that since then every professor I've had has either been afraid to be or just not cared to be interesting in how he presents his material.
-- You can call me lazy and uncultured for preferring to read online summaries and Wikipedia over the actual classic literature itself, but 10 years down the road I will be able to discuss the themes and recount the plots just as well as you. Is that not what matters?
Whew. That feels so much better. I think, maybe, screw my paper -- any reasonable employer would care more about what relevant skills and experience I can offer than how well I rewrote this 12-page mindless diatribe. My Especially Stern, Tersely Edifying Remark with which I will end this series of columns is as follows: One time a grounds-keeper yelled at me because my dog peed on a bush on the edge of the Lawn. It was idiotic. Let's just say that the Lawn is now much more well-fertilized with a high-nitrogen compost thanks to the weeks following that incident and the dog's (not my) flippant attitude. HAGS!
Erik can be reached at silk@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 4 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | 6 days agoWhat the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
