Unless you’ve been living under a rock or in a cave these past two weeks (or both, if you can manage it), you know that the Olympic Games have completely captivated audiences worldwide. And so it’s not surprising that souvenirs like Olympic T-shirts, bumper stickers and even boxers have begun to appear as commonplace items among ordinary citizens. (Not that I’ve borne witness firsthand to any Olympic-themed-boxer-clad males, I assure you.) Seriously, they were on display at the mall (the boxers, not the males) and I immediately shielded my innocent eyes from their suggestive message. Mother, if you’re reading this, please don’t call Grandma and then take turns sighing heavily between complaints about the corrupt youth of today. But I digress.
I have to admit, though, that every time I see someone sporting a “Beijing 2008” beret or cardigan, I wonder if he actually traveled to China to watch the Olympics, or if he just bought said item at the mall. (In the same vicinity as the boxers, I assume, but again, Mom, I did not look for too long. Ahem.)
And if it’s the latter, then what exactly is that person’s intention in wearing the shirt? Does a t-shirt depicting the Olympic rings exist only to let the rest of the world know that the Olympics are going on? Because we don’t already have every news station replaying relays and ceremonies and “inspirational” McDonald’s commercials. Commercials that tear down my self-esteem for not continuing gymnastics lessons past age nine. Honestly, the Olympics are everywhere — do we really need to advertise them across our chests as if we’re walking TV guides?
Maybe a T-shirt of the Olympic nature suggests that its wearer just supports the Olympics in general. And while the idea of people using both outerwear and underwear to promote their radical political perspectives on world events poses an interesting line of logic, I’m beginning to recognize this is probably not the case. Instead, I think the trend of Olympic-T-shirt-clad Americans follows a phenomenon that I like to call the “Bandwagon Effect.” Allow me to explain using an unnecessary example.
In second grade, Rebecca*, my then-OMGBFFAEAE, sat next to me in art class. One day, during sketch time, she began to doodle the images of five tall women with giant platform shoes and lots of British flags. I asked her what she was drawing, and she replied, “Don’t you know who the Spice Girls are?” Afraid of telling her the truth, I said, “Of course” and began illustrating my own portrait of the girl band. (Only Rebecca’s was better; in my version, the Spice Girls’ heads were lopsided and they all appeared to be frowning. No offense, Victoria Beckham, that’s just how I draw — or is it?)
Why did I sketch the Spice Girls that day in art? Because I jumped on the bandwagon, of course! Was there any significance in my depicting these particular celebrities? Um, no — I was 7. I guess I just drew the likes of Scary, Baby, Sporty, Posh and Ginger in an effort to display my awareness of their existence; in a sense, the picture merely stated my knowledge of the world. After all, nothing says “I’m cultured” like a crayon-on-looseleaf portrayal of what will one day be viewed as the world’s greatest pop band. So, kittens, what I’m trying to say is this: I think people wear Olympic ties, sweatpants and knit sweaters as if to say, “I know the Olympics are going on and therefore I am educated and civilized!” Or something like that.
Wow, all this unwarranted ranting about harmless Olympic paraphernalia has got me in the competitive spirit. I think the University should have its own version of the Olympic Games. The first event: a streaker relay race. First one down the steps of the Rotunda, around the statue of Homer and back to Tommy Jefferson wins. Breaking a neck on the steep drops, getting caught by the patrolling policemen or having clothes stolen while running will result in disqualification. Oh, and don’t bother making “Charlottesville 2008” T-shirts. Believe me, I have my reasons.
*Name has been changed because if Rebecca* finds this article on the Internet, it would be severely embarrassing, given that I haven’t seen her in 10 years. Not that I’m paranoid or anything.
Lauren’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at l.kimmel@cavalierdaily.com.
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