I was strolling across Grounds the other day and experienced one of those perfect fall moments. I walked through a mass of leaves and felt that satisfying crunch, like bubble wrap but even better (Not to mention more eco-friendly). As I basked in a pleasant feeling of accomplishment, a crisp breeze began to blow, carrying that faint smoky aroma of autumn. And that’s when it hit me like an errant hackysack: Fall is, without doubt, the greatest of seasons.
I imagine that, at this point, about a quarter of readers are saying to themselves, “Amen, brother,” about half are saying “No way!” and the final quarter are saying “This chump needs a life.” For the benefit of that middle half, I offer the following arguments.
First and foremost, fall is when the weather begins to get colder. This a godsend for first-years, most of whom live in packed dormitories without air conditioning. Three years later, I still remember what that felt like — it was a pretty good approximation of being a bacterium in a petri dish. Now, they can relax in relative comfort, at least until the heat gets turned on full blast and they need to open their windows. The cooler weather also means we can return to wearing long pants. Yes, shorts have their positive aspects, but pants are just a bit more dignified. Call me vain if you like, but anything that makes me look less like a primate, I will wear.
With the change of the seasons, the days begin to get shorter. This is not one of the season’s high points — it can be downright depressing to leave a library at 5 p.m. and find no sun left. But perhaps we ought to look on the bright side. This change means the sunrise is also much later in the day. If you’re like me and have never been on a crew team, you finally have a chance to actually see it. Granted, most of us will continue to sleep straight through it to the afternoon, but at least the opportunity is there.
In terms of sports, fall definitely has the most to offer. The baseball playoffs are going on, the basketball and hockey seasons are just beginning and, of course, we have football. Football’s biggest shows are in winter, but football is best in autumn. By the time winter arrives and I’ve endured several months of high school football on Fridays, college football on Saturdays and pro football on Sundays, I’m generally ready to throw the next person who says “touchdown” through a large window. In the fall, though, it’s just right.
How about holidays? Once again, fall has the best offerings of any season. Halloween sometimes gets a bad rap because of its connection to creepy monsters who don’t teach family values, but it’s actually a highly enjoyable observance. If Thomas Jefferson were here, I’m sure he’d agree with me that Halloween’s two hallmarks — eating too much and dressing funnily — are what being an American is all about.
As for Thanksgiving, it might just be the greatest holiday of them all. Once again, you have eating, combined with great traditions and the chance to be with loved ones. “But Christmas and Hanukkah have all of those things too,” you might say, “and we get a longer break from school.” There’s some truth to this, but the advantage of Thanksgiving is that there’s not nearly as much stress involved. There’s nobody to shop for and no cards to mail. Even the menu has already been planned out for you, by Squanto and Abraham Lincoln.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the beauty of the leaves come autumn. Nature puts on quite a show full of reds, browns and yellows, and it’s truly a delight to behold. Of course, the trees also begin to drop acorns in massive numbers, which can be frustrating since it causes legions of squirrels to emerge from hiding and go on the offensive. To put it in perspective, though, there are legions of squirrels around here all the time, and at least with the acorns around, there’s less chance they will try to mug you for your potato chips.
None of the other seasons even comes close. Spring brings with it enough pollen to have me breathing like Darth Vader until summer. Summer leaves us all smelling like sand, sunscreen and cheap hot dogs. As for winter, now that we don’t get snow days, snowstorms are just opportunities to slip on ice and suffer a humiliating tailbone injury. Never fear, my friends: Fall will never let you down. As the Pilgrims would say, grab ye some apple cider and make merry among the leaves. Make sure you’re in by 5 p.m., though — it’ll be dark by then.
Matt’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. He can be reached at m.waring@cavalierdaily.com.
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