YES, I’M in a fraternity. And yes, that just might be why I don’t know you. Because I came from an all-boys high school with strong ties to the University, I was well versed in what were the “cool” fraternities on Grounds before I even arrived. It didn’t take more than a few days of my first year to recognize that the fraternity atmosphere had its perks, as I found myself stuffed with free dinners and injected with a heavy dose of good old-fashioned man love. For many first year boys, the fraternity scene offers exactly what they expect, which is perfectly fine as long as they do not become so absorbed in it that it blinds them from the numerous other social opportunities offered by a college environment. Although exclusivity is not detrimental in itself and constitutes one of the finer appeals of fraternity membership, it has the capacity to be both misguided and abused.
Exclusivity is an inherent aspect of fraternities and a major part of what makes them so appealing. Although you would never get them to admit it, first year boys spend a lot of their time seeking a remedy for the latent insecurities brought on by their swift introduction to an unfamiliar social scene. In a matter of days, first years realize that their social status and popularity in high school are irrelevant. Let’s face it, for many boys joining a fraternity is a convenient way to redeem some of the social worth that was lost in the high school-to-college transition. In itself, this certainly is not a bad thing. It is perfectly understandable that first-years feel a need to belong to a group that they deem consistent with their personality, values and goals. The problem arises when this exclusivity is not treated properly and mutates into a detrimental sense of superiority or entitlement.
I have often been embarrassed by some of the remarks I have heard from brothers (of a wide array of fraternities) about the non-Greek population at the University. Rather than supplying a specific example, it is sufficient to say that these remarks tend to treat non-Greeks as “losers” who are somehow socially inferior because of their failure to throw themselves headlong into the monstrosity of coolness that is the Greek system. Although this extreme mentality is very rare, a much more common threat lies elsewhere.
The more prominent problem is that some fraternity members have allowed themselves to become content with the strong social connections they have formed to their fraternity and its sister sororities. It is easy to become so fixated by it that all of a sudden you get back to school your fourth year and realize that you don’t really know much of anybody outside your particular clique in the Greek system. It is undeniable that too many fraternity members fail to seek out relationships with non-Greek students during their time here, which restricts the social atmosphere of the school as a whole. There does exist a small group of fraternity men who honestly could not name more than five people not Greek affiliated. Considering that only 26 percent of the student population is Greek, something is obviously not right with this situation.
To all underclassmen Greek members, you must not let yourself slip into complacency. Introduce yourself to people in your lectures and discussions; meet non-Greek students and attend their parties; if you’re really bold, ask out that girl who has no connection to the sister sororities you always hang out with. It is imperative to pursue relationships outside of the Greek system because college shouldn’t be all about watching football games at the house and throwing sick chest bumps. Yes, it’s fun, but many of us have spent way too much time doing this at the expense of our social experience as a whole.
My stance on this issue is echoed by Taylor Richardson, president of the IFC, who earnestly stated to me that “I agree that this is a necessary and worthwhile goal for all four of the Greek councils, for it can only provide a better perspective on fraternity life and allow our groups to best be integrated into the University experience.” Richardson went on to enumerate in detail the vast array of non-Greek activities and organizations in which a significant number of fraternity men are involved, but this number can and should grow.
Of course there are many, many Greek students out there who have extensive social relationships and interactions with non-Greek students. If not treated appropriately, however, the Greek social bubble can function as a trap that will have you asking, “What just happened?” on Graduation Day. The college experience offers so much more than fraternity life and all members should strive to indulge in them just as fervently as they do in the wild rush events of first year. If anything, remember that the connections you establish during your four years here will continue to serve you throughout the rest of your life. You will be ashamed of yourself if, 10 years from now, you look back and realize that you only skimmed the very surface of such a diverse, talented and intelligent student population here in Charlottesville.
Jed Crumbo is a Cavalier Daily Viewpoint Writer.
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