Most aspects of the fourth-year experience are enjoyable: being a leader in student organizations, taking small, high-level classes, weighing options for the future, writing a thesis ... well, maybe the thesis isn’t exactly a cakewalk, but I stand by the rest. Alas, as time has gone by, I’ve discovered the more disheartening side of fourth year: contemplating all the things I’ll miss about college.
Given that it’s barely October, this probably comes off as a little premature, but it’s completely in character for me. I started pondering potential colleges in the seventh grade, and I’ll probably have my midlife crisis when I’m 29. I may need to cut myself a bald spot so I can get in the mood.
I’m not even talking about particular sights and sounds of Charlottesville, though those are numerous. No, I’m referring to the quirky, surreal and constantly surprising experience of being in college. If I’ve learned anything while writing this little column, it’s that college is a place where a lot of the ordinary rules of society are suspended. The “real world” may have its own appeal, but there are definitely unique “college” experiences that will leave me feeling nostalgic.
For starters, how about the dinner pattern most people go through as first-years? A asks B to go to dinner. On their way out, they ask C and D if they’re interested, which they are because they’re just chillin’. Before they get out of the dorm, they’ve been joined by E through K, too. When this group finally sits down to dinner, it takes up an entire long table, like a band of Viking warriors. Only in college, my friends. In the “real world,” 10 isn’t a dinner party, it’s a logistical nightmare that necessitates a special room.
Then there’s the other unusual part of college dining — splitting restaurant checks. If you ever want to see an odd face without having to slip someone sour milk, ask your waiter to split a check eight ways. At most places, this is a technological feat on a par with operating the missile control computers at NORAD. The best servers will put on a pleasant face as they do this, and God bless them for it. That’s 30-percent tip material right there.
Being up at all hours is another part of college’s wonderful strangeness. The days are surely coming when I will look back and be unable to believe that I once went to bed at 1 a.m. and considered that turning in early. It turns out that being up late has a lot of advantages, too. There’s no traffic, it doesn’t take as long to get a pizza delivered, and you can actually see the end of West Coast sporting events. Plus, in August in the South, not waking up until three in the afternoon is a great way to miss the hottest part of the day.
I’ll probably get a fair number of sneers for saying this, but I’ll miss the dining halls as well. It’s quite a luxury having such a variety of food at your fingertips. Many a time I’ve been out to dinner at a nice restaurant and wished I could just get up and go get a bowl of Lucky Charms. I won’t go into the reception I get at such establishments when I inquire about paying with Plus Dollars. “Real world” dining isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
How about the freedom of casual dress? Granted, it can be a nice gesture to don something a little nicer than jeans and a T-shirt for class out of respect for professors and peers, but it’s hardly necessary. Sweatpants aren’t completely taboo, and I honestly believe a burlap sack would be enough to get by at certain times, like Friday morning discussion sections. As every guy who’s had a business internship can tell you, a tie looks like a noose as you put it on and can feel much the same way. Of course, there’s always Casual Friday, but while at some organizations this means you don’t have to wear a tie, at others it just means you don’t have to wear a red one.
Finally, I’ll miss all the amenities we enjoy as University students. I’m sure that, after I graduate, I could still have access to a full-service gym, a dozen types of athletic events, a huge library of DVDs, and $75 worth of concerts and shows. It’s just that I’d probably have to take out a second mortgage to get them, and the way things are going, I’m not too optimistic about being able to get one mortgage.
Fortunately, there’s a happy ending to this story of woe: I’m not graduating for eight months. But it might be a good idea to check in on me as we get closer to the big day, just to make sure I’m OK. It’ll be easy enough to find me: I’ll be in Newcomb, wearing burlap.
Matt’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. He can be reached at m.waring@cavalierdaily.com.