Every other Monday when the love and dating theme fills the Life section, I always snatch up the paper and flip right to that section. No, I don’t get a secret thrill from reading my own articles. Actually, I often worry that someone will see me reading this section and recognize me, thinking I’m just reading my own article. So every other week I read The Cavalier Daily with my thumb covering up my little picture. But now I’m getting off topic. The real reason I like to flip to this section is to read is “Love Connection,” the big segment on that week’s blind date.
I love that these students are so willing to put themselves out there just to find love — or at least to get a free meal and make a new Facebook friend. My favorite part is reading their responses to the questionnaire, trying to speculate as to how and why they were matched up together. To me, the most interesting question is “What are your dating deal breakers?” The answers are frequently things like “smokers,” “narcissism,” “guys that are shorter than me” or “girls that are taller than me.”
If someone asked me the same question, I don’t think I’d have an answer. I don’t think I have any dating deal breakers that go into effect right off the bat. I would, and have, given all smokers, egomaniacs and shorter guys a chance at a date before immediately writing them off. Does this mean I’m desperate? You might think so. But I think it just means that I try not to judge a book by its cover, so to speak. My dating deal breakers occur later on in a relationship, after he’s had more of a chance.
Last semester, for example, I dated a guy who was a few inches shorter than me. At 5-foot-5, I’m not exactly Adriana Lima (well, I kind of am, but just not in the height department). And at 5-foot-3, he liked to remind me that Tom Cruise and James Madison are also short but accomplished men. The height issue was never really a problem, except when I would get a little bit drunk at parties and insist that whoever was taking a picture of us take it from the waist up, so that beneath the frame I could bend my knees a little and squat down. Voila, instant height change in a photo, sans Photoshop.
Another typical deal breaker has to do with age. Once in high school I took a small risk and dated a boy a couple of years younger than I was. Now, I’m no cougar, but Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were big at the time so I gave it a shot. The age difference didn’t turn out to be too big of a problem at first. I always had to be the one to drive — he didn’t have his license yet — but he could always count on me to help him out with his homework. The deal breaker came after just a few dates and a first kiss, when he looked me in the eyes and said, “Jordan. I love you.” After three dates! Obviously the age difference came with an emotional difference as well. Definite deal breaker.
Conversely, a friend of mine dated a boy who was much older than her. I won’t say exactly how much older, but I will say that they were in different decades. This age difference didn’t turn out to be a huge deal at first either ... until he took her home and she discovered he was still living with his parents.
Another friend swore she would never date redheads, but ended up giving one a chance. They dated successfully for a little while until she found out that he refused to pee unless he was sitting down. That same friend also promised herself she wouldn’t be with anyone in the military because it would just be too hard. But when the right guy came along, she broke that rule, too, and they are now hopelessly in love.
Having a “dating deal breaker” before you even get to know someone can screw you over in the long run. Maybe the guy that’s too short or girl that’s not blonde will turn out to be just what you were looking for. Don’t write someone off before even getting to know them. At least wait to call it off until you’re already in the relationship and find out that they secretly like to wear women’s underwear. Now that’s a definite deal breaker.
Jordan’s column runs biweekly Monday. She can be reached at j.hart@cavalierdaily.com.
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